markforstrom.com

My essays about healthy relationships with God, others, & yourself.

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Death of a family “friend”

Last night we experienced a death in our family–a lifelong friend. It was not unexpected–in fact we were informed last fall that this death was inevitable–a chronic condition. We tried to prepare ourselves, but you don’t really know exactly how it will be until it happens.

Only Brenda and I were able to be there at the very end–shortly before midnight. We somberly shared our last moments with our friend and said our goodbyes. We knew the end was near.

We watched in whispered tones until stillness and silence finally replaced the life that was. The brightness — now fully faded. The once jubulent voice — now silenced.

We’re not sure how our friend’s passing will affect us, but we know that our lives will never again be the same.

Of course this friend I’m talking about is our television. When we heard that the FCC was going to mandate digital TV broadcasts that would require a $40 converter box we decided as a family that this would be a good time to go ahead and pull the plug. We’ve rarely watched our 4 broadcast TV stations anyways (using our rabbit ear antennas!) and so to us it was a good excuse to stop altogether. We can still watch DVDs and catch the news on the internet. But we no longer feel the need to spend our time at the mercy and schedule of TV programmers and advertisers.

It’s important to interject here that we don’t expect others to get rid of their tvs and we certainly don’t judge anyone for having one — goodness, we’ve had one for all of our lives! And we may come over and watch yours someday if we want to see something really important! We just know that for us — at this moment in time — this is one thing that we need to cut out of our already hectic lives.

After we’ve adjusted to the death of our friend, I’ll blog again to let you know how it ends up affecting our family.

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(Note: since my original post we also decided to refuse offers to subscribe to NetFlix for the same reason as not having TV.)

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It’s been 4 and 1/2 years that we’ve been without a TV and we clearly made a good choice for us!  We can’t imagine how there would be enough hours in the day with TV viewing added to our busy schedules.  We know ourselves too well — the unlimited options would tempt us away from more important pursuits.  The few shows we like can be checked out from the library or viewed online for free and that suits us very well!

“for evil to triumph”


Sir Edmund Burke is noted to have said, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.”

For twenty years at least I’ve heard this quote and I’ve found it inspirational and highly motivating. In fact, I’m sure it greatly contributed to my zealous Christian activism at times in my past.

I fully believe that the statement is true. However I’m reflecting today on what it truly means and how it is applied. What got my attention was a paragraph in a newsletter sent out by our friends at Casas por Cristo. Here it is:

What is most disheartening to me is that due to the media reports of violence here in Juarez and the reports of the Swine flu in Mexico City (over a thousand miles away from here), the people of Juarez who have little hope to begin with, are being abandoned and left with no hope at all. That breaks my heart.
Let me close with these words from Sir Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for Evil to triumph is for good people to DO NOTHING.”

Doing Something,
David Robinson,
Executive Director

When I read this use of the familiar quotation, it seemed to be strangely out of context.

After all, the meaning has always been pretty clear: “Beware, Christian: evil is going to triumph if we don’t quickly intervene to stomp it out”. This is our rally cry for purging the darkness from the world around us! These are the Christian’s marching orders! Rise up oh church of God! It’s time for a showdown with the forces of darkness! It’s up to us to purge the world of evil before it spreads like a festering cancer ending life as we know it! Evil is infiltrating every element of our society, government, media, schools, etc. Let’s get involved and DO SOMETHING to stomp it out while we still can!

So with that interpretation of the quote in my mind, you can see why I was taken aback by its use in this newsletter. There was no mention of boycotts and picketing. No writing letters to congressmen or attempting to protest gay marriage. In fact, the only action item mentioned in the entire letter was, “please come down and help us build houses for poor people.”

Then it clicked with me. What would happen if instead of focusing our efforts on purging darkness from an already dark world, instead we focused on shining the light of Christ! The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. What if we’ve had it backwards all along? What if by trying to do “something” we were really doing “nothing” other than making the dark world mad at being attacked? What if the “something” we’re supposed to do isn’t about hating and fretting and protesting, but is rather about loving, forgiving, modeling, and caring for lost people? Think how that would change the world!

It’s starting to sound rather Jesus-like don’t you think?
It’s starting to sound like the early Christians, surrounded by a pagan culture in the book of Acts, don’t you think?

We’re going to build three homes for Mexicans a month from now. And I think we’ll be doing that as a true application of Edmund Burke’s famous quote!

Philosophizing about chores


For three years I lived in the guys’ dorm at Moody Bible Institute.  As you can imagine, two dozen guys living on our floor produced a bit of mess!  Who should clean up that mess?  It was only appropriate that each of us would take turns cleaning the lounge, doing the dishes, and vacuuming.  It would be unfair for guys to live with all the benefits of community without helping pay the price.  Except for the year we had a paraplegic on our floor, everyone always took their turn.  To be able-bodied, but refuse to pitch in would be freeloading.  And few things irk us more than freeloaders!

Similarly, we don’t appreciate freeloaders in our society at large.   We get upset with those who could work but don’t–those who benefit from the hard work of others without helping.  This is an attitude of entitlement.  They are takers, but they refuse to be givers.

In healthy communities, capable members share the responsibilities and don’t mooch off the others.  We see this exact philosophy in Paul’s admonition to the Thessalonian church, “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” (2 Thes 3:10b)

Now I’d like to take this thought a step further and suggest that families are communities in exactly the same way.  Which brings to mind…

Five Principles for Family Chores

First, household chores are the natural cost of living in community.  In order to run a home someone needs to do the shopping, launder the clothes, shovel the walk, pay the bills, take out the garbage, scrub the toilets, cook the food, mow the yard, etc.  Without any of these things, the family system is hindered.  Each family member reaps the benefits of the chores being done and each family member suffers when they are left undone.

Second, I think parents are wise if they require kids from a very early age to be contributors to the family system by doing their fair share of chores.  (To not do so teaches our kids to be freeloaders, leaving the parents to do the bulk of the work.  An entitlement mentality is being taught by this approach.)  From preschool on, I believe every family member should understand that their family is depending on their help.  The family is a team and everyone must pitch in for the team and do their fair share.

Third, when I say “fair share” I mean that as they age, their responsibility level should increase according to their abilities.  A toddler can help the home in tiny ways, such as picking up the toys.  Here it’s the child’s effort that’s important not the amount of his contribution.  But stretch them to do as much as they are reasonably capable of and continue to increase their responsibility level over time until it comes close to matching the household workload of the parents.  There are very few chores–if any–that a teenager can’t do, so they should be expected to do their fair share of them.

We first thought to implement these concepts in our home when the kids were about three and six.  We had a family meeting one day where we listed out all the things necessary to run our home.  It was a long list!  We explained that as a family it only made sense for everyone to pitch in–parents and kids.  So, we started writing down names next to each chore, taking volunteers at first and making reasonable assignments with what was left.  Lexi thought it would be fun to scrub the toilets.  Brenda chose to cook on Mondays.  On it went until we had a reasonable distribution of tasks:  vacuuming, laundry “whites”, packing lunches, garbage, recyclables, setting the table, doing dishes, cooking on the other nights, etc.  We all agreed Cindy should continue to pay the bills!   I just found the first edition of our Chore Chart for those interested.  Over the years we’ve revisited our list and have made lots of adjustments as you can tell from this version. Now we don’t have a chart at all, it’s just intuitive. And thankfully, we’ve come to the point where–with the girls now being 13 and 16–we’re approaching chore equilibrium!

Forth, giving kids household responsibility prepares them for life.  What a gift it is for kids to have learned all the lifeskills that go into running a household!  Think of how much better equipped for college, marriage, parenting, and life they will be if they’ve been cross-trained on a variety of household chores!

Finally, should allowances be tied to chores?  My view is “no” for two good reasons.  A.  To me, chores are what we owe to the other family members.  At our house, we say, “no one will thank you, no one will praise you!”  Chores are simply what we owe each other for the privilege of living in this family.”   B.  Chores should be a relational issue, not a monetary one.  When we neglect (or forget) our chores, the other family members will naturally suffer and the relational consequences of that must be faced.  If Lexi forgets to fix dinner on a Tuesday, three hungry people will begin complaining!  If people don’t have clean clothes to war the laundry person will be confronted.  If I don’t take out the garbage, my family will complain about the smell.   When our neglect lets others down, family chore assignments force us to deal with people, not piggy banks!  We have to resolve our relational neglectfulness in ways that a mere loss of allowance money can’t fix.  (For example, some kids don’t care a thing about money–is it ok for them to “pay their way out of” ever having to contribute to the family system?)  Making chores unpaid forces us to solve the relational problems that our negligence creates.  Sometimes the solution involves making a deal with another family member to cover the missed chore (such as hiring them!)  Sometimes it involves some form of restitution.   Sometimes, it’s just an apology.  But it’s always primarily relational in nature.

(Note:  we do give our kids “stipend” allowances, but they are not at all connected to chores.  We see them as part of the benefits that come with being members of the Forstrom family.  When we do our family budget each year, we apportion such allowances.  As the kids get older their allowances increase–as do the number of things they are responsible to buy for themselves!  But that’s the subject of another post!)

The value of "Plain"

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A forgotten homework assignment from Men’s Fraternity encouraged us dads to discuss with each family member a list of various traits and how they relate to each of us.  One night last fall, after Cindy had gone to bed, my daughters (age 12 and 15) and I were in a mood to chat, and I happened to remember the forgotten assignment.   I retrieved my workbook from the van and for the next hour and a half, the three of us chatted and laughed and pondered and evaluated what traits are unique and important to each of us.  It was one of those rare, insightful, “magic moments” that you treasure forever.

One of the traits to be discussed was the word “plain,” which launched us into a wonderful conversation about appearances.  This gave me an opportunity to formulate into words what I had been thinking about for a while:  how I hope that my daughters are always rather plain in appearance.

Now I know to some of you what I just said sounds horrible.  In this world which values fashion, glamour, and beauty, such a statement sounds almost emotionally abusive.  In fact, I’ve even read books by well-known Christian authors which talk about how essential it is for dads to frequently tell their daughters how pretty and beautiful they look.

So what kind of dad would wish plainness on his own daughters?   This one.

Having been completely surrounded by teenagers for the past 22 straight years, I’ve learned a thing or two about the adolescent male mind!  I know exactly what turns heads and captivates the eyes and sets guys upon a mad pursuit to satisfy their physical longings.  And quite frankly, I don’t want my girls to be the object of such sensual arousals (outside of courtship and marriage.)

I often express to them how I love that their focus is on inward beauty, character, commitment, respect, integrity, and love for others rather than on make-up and fashion and hairstyles.  How I love that they spend their hours in front of books and sheet music and creative projects rather than in front of the mirror, trying to become more “datable”.  How I appreciate that they honor their “brothers” by dressing modestly and acting responsibly and helping redefine what I think to be true femininity.

We talked about how it would be easy to attract any degenerate guy with their body, but how a true gentleman would be sufficiently attracted to their character.  How “the bait you use determines the kind of fish you catch.”  How the treadmill of appearance management is no way to truly live.  How miserable are those whose lives consist of becoming head-turners. We talked about Miss California and Donald Trump, and Mary-Kate and Ashley, and the Bachelorette, and wardrobe malfunctions, and proms, and body piercing and a whole lot more.   And they get it!

So I’ll say it again:  I hope my girls keep themselves rather plain in appearance.  And I hope they always work to stay beautiful inwardly.   By doing so, they’ll indeed be quite a catch someday!

And I think I have some scripture to back me up.

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Prov 31:30

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 2 Tim 2:9-10

Reflections on Carrie Prejean. Part 4: Vindication.

READ PART 1 FIRST to put this in context.

We return to the Miss USA contest for this last post. Because of the topless photos mentioned in Part 3, Carrie’s status as Miss California was called into question. The accusation was that she violated their modesty contract (I hadn’t realized they cared about such things).

Miss Prejean’s contract with Miss California USA prohibited nudity, stating on page five: “Appearing in public or permitting myself to be photographed in a state of partial or total nudity or in a lewd, compromising or sexually suggestive manner constitutes a violation of this provision.” She signed it, stating that she has not done so.

Now personally I don’t know how any Miss Anywhere contestant in the bikini competition could sign that statement about never appearing in a sexually suggestive manner, but that’s my bias coming out and that’s beside the point. The real issue is:  did Carrie violate the “partial or total nudity” part.

Into the picture steps Donald Trump (who basically owns the contest) to decide the matter. Here is his statement.

“We’ve reviewed the pictures very carefully [i’m sure he did] … we are in the 21st century and I talked about relevance and the pageants have been updated tremendously. And Carrie is a model, she’s a very successful model, we have determined – and we have the absolute right under the contract – we have determined that the pictures taken are fine,” Trump said at Tuesday’s press conference. “So, we’ve made a determination that everything we’ve seen to this date that she’s done, some were risque, but again, we’re in the 21st century, so we’ve made a determination that the pictures taken were acceptable they were fine in many cases. They were lovely pictures and in some cases they were modeling pictures, so I think that’s very important to understand.”

Some would say Carrie has been vindicated–she can retain her Miss California title. Finally a victory for conservative Christianity!

I say the opposite. Because of this incident, now Donald Trump has redefined “partial nudity” in the 21st Century to not include bare breasts. The contest has been “updated” in his words. I say the morality bar has been lowered another notch. So from now on, any contestant is free to pose topless and it’s not going to be considered “nudity” at all. Let’s all go change our dictionaries.

As far as Carrie goes, since she signed the contract it tells me either one of three things: 1. she was not honest about having those photos taken or 2. she agrees with The Donald and also doesn’t define bare breasts as “partial nudity” or 3. She thought she could squeeze through a loophole that since the photographs she allowed to be taken were unapproved they didn’t count.

Carrie is a fine person, has a wonderful Christian testimony, and has done a lot of good with her life. I like her as a person and have a lot of reason to root for her. She’s on our side.

But considering this isolated photo issue objectively, it seems clear to me that she should have been disqualified. Even better, she could have admitted having those photos taken 5 years ago was wrong and she could have humbly resigned. Imagine the impact of that!

We all majorly mess up, so I’m not pointing fingers that don’t point back at me. But when our sin is exposed, part of Christian maturity is to take responsibility for it, decry it, confess it, apologize for harm done, and to humbly submit to the authorities rather than look for loopholes. To me this is virtuosity. Too many times prominent Christians caught in sin have tried to cover it up, deny it, make excuses for it, or try to justify their behavior, but to the watching world, it simply reinforces the negative stereotype of Christians as hypocrites.

In this situation, Carrie got off the hook because Donald Trump liked her photos and changed the rules downward. But I agree with Shanna Moakler, the Co-Executive Director for the Miss California contest, who resigned over Mr. Trump’s decision, saying:

“I can not with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” Shanna’s statement continued. “I want to be a role model for young woman (sic) with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children…”

So I ask, who showed the highest moral integrity in this isolated story about the photos? I think it’s Shanna, who quit her job over it. She acted with a clear conscious. Was she vindicated?

By the way, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I turned off comments because I’ve been getting spam comments and the sensual nature of these 4 posts would quickly attract spammers. Email me your thoughts, please!

Reflections on Carrie Prejean. Part 3: The sins of youth.

A few days ago modeling photos of Carrie surfaced on the internet, showing her in various provocative poses, some even showing her bare breasts. She contends that the wind blew her vest away (it was a wardrobe malfunction) and that the photographer snapped the pictures without her permission and then he released them on the internet. We’ll take her word for it. But my question is: “What were you doing with a man in such a precarious situation where your breasts were only a wind’s breath away from being seen even by him?”

Some have said, well she was only 17 at the time (she’s now 22) and so she didn’t fully know what she was doing. Perhaps so, but I want her story to serve as a warning to all 17 year olds: “What you do now may haunt you the rest of your life.”

Before these photos surfaced, Carrie Prejean was fast becoming the new posterchild for injustice done against a conservative Christian. She appeared on Sean Hannity, and even Dobson’s Focus on the Family for two solid days last week. But the emergence of these photos have seriously tainted her credibility. To skeptics, she’s viewed as hypocritical–championing moral purity in one area, but overlooking it in others. To conservatives, she’s now a dilemma.

I feel so bad for her. For the rest of her life, people will view her either as a fallen hero, or a big hypocrite. Those pictures can never be erased–in fact, they will continue to multiply. And thanks to her celebrity status, those pictures she didn’t want taken will now allow millions of guys to rape her in their minds. We need to pray for her–few things could be more tragic.

My audience for this post is teenagers. My point in this post is that what you do today can have serious repercussions. All sin is equally evil, but some sins have major, lifelong consequences. Be aware of that! They could alter your entire future. Believe me I’ve seen it enough times. One little mistake today could cause you regret for the next 70 years.

This is prom weekend–no better time for me to remind you!

Some examples of sins that will never go away
Pregnancy–you have no idea of the cost!
STIs–many never go away.
A photo of you that could circulate forever and jeapordize your future (ex. sexting). Cameras are everywhere now! Ask Michael Phelps.
A drink of alcohol that lowers your inhibitions to do something stupid.
Hanging with people who might take advantage of you.
Premarital sexual involvement of any kind that will rob your future spouse of intimacy.
Pornography, which affects your view of others and fosters addiction.
One use of drugs that might lead to your addiction.

I could tell you heartbreaking stories about people I know who have been taken down by each of the sins on the list above. Please be cautious. The “I was only 17” excuse won’t get you off the hook.

And now here’s the final installment.  Part 4.

Reflections on Carrie Prejean. Part 2: Modesty.

While I give Carrie high scores on her boldness to defend biblical marriage, I must give her low scores in the area of modesty. In fact, I had trouble finding a suitable picture of her for this post.

The modeling/beauty pageant professions are focused predominantly on external beauty with skin and seductivity being paramount. For example, the swimsuit competitions now require them to appear in bikinis with very little left to the imagination. Others may disagree, but I question how anyone can pursue such a career as a follower of Jesus.

Perhaps I’m more sensitive on this issue than most. Having been a youth pastor for 22 years I’ve seen what immodesty does to guys who are trying to keep their thoughts pure–it tears them up. I once had a Facebook group called, “What Guys wish Girls knew about modesty” and it was amazing to hear of their gut-wrenching struggles in this area.

I’m not just picking on girls here. Christian guys have to do their part to bounce their eyes and not look nor let their minds wander. They will be surrounded by immodest girls and they bear responsibility for their thought life.

Unfortunately, worldly guys will not be so careful. Many of them have no qualms about gazing at whatever girls are willing to show, lusting after them in their minds.

Why do girls feel compelled to flaunt their bodies in front of guys? And for what purpose? For attention? Their self-esteem? A title? A crown? Their looks will fade, their true beauty is about what’s on the inside. I love it when Christian girls put their focus on that!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Prov 31:30

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 2 Tim 2:9-10

 

Now you can proceed to my third post on Carrie Prejean  Part 3.

Reflections on Carrie Prejean. Part 1: Intolerance

A major current event right now involves controversies surrounding Carrie Prejean, the current Miss California, who is also an outspoken Christian. There are so many intersting things to reflect on with regard to the story that I’m going to divide it up into four posts.

This first post is on the subject of intolerance. As everyone knows, she likely lost the Miss USA competition last month likely because of her answer to Perez Hilton’s question about gay marriage. Her answer was very appropriate: she said we live in a country where people have the freedom to choose, but for her family she was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I couldn’t have said it much better. Way to go Carrie!

The irony is that while she’s being accused of intolerance (she’s not–she allows others to disagree) she’s being treated with intolerance: losing the contest, being called all kinds of names, and even receivinig a death threat! Another irony is that she essentially said the same thing as Mr. Obama, who was not so villified. In an interview with the Chicago Daily Tribune, Obama is purported to have said, “I’m a Christian. And so, although I try not to have my religious beliefs dominate or determine my political views on this issue, I do believe that tradition, and my religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman.” (source not confirmed). So why wasn’t Mr. Obama villified? Perhaps because he has defended gay rights and is for legal civil unions. In contrast, Carrie is perceived to be an enemy of those who would seek to expand homosexual rights and thus is an open target.

My point here isn’t about gay marriage–I have my own views about that issue, which many people on both sides would likely disagree with.

The point of this post is that it’s likely that in our increasingly post-Christian country, where biblical morality is becoming more and more disdained, we will experience great intolerance about our views. My hope is that we don’t succumb to the pressure to betray our beliefs or compromise on what we perceive to be truth. May we be like Carrie, who allowed others to disagree, but who showed integrity in being faithful to her values.

Fortunately, there is still enough of a collective conscience so that the injustice done to Carrie has catapulted her into a major news story. I fear that in the future, such injustice done to us will be largely ignored.

Carrie has shown consistent biblical moral values — with regard to marriage anyways. But that leads into Part 2.

Should you buy your kid a car?


Last Tuesday was a milestone day in the Forstrom household as Bren purchased her first car!  She’s been saving her money for such a purchase for three years (since she was 12).

Two weeks ago she had asked if we could go out car shopping.  I was shocked to find out she had accumulated $1,500 in her checking account from babysitting and unused gift money.

We figured we’d better look for something less than $1,000 to leave margin for taxes, the title, the plates, and to leave some left for repairs.  So off we went to hunt for cars with three digit numbers on the windshield.

We found this gem at Hawkeye Auto in Marion waaaay in the back of the lot.  It’s not much to look at, but hey, it’s the inside that counts, right!  Actually, the car is in great shape and has less miles than either of our other two vehicles.  (We may be paying her for mileage on our next trip to New Jersey!)  And she’s excited about having a painting party (yes, using Rustoleum) before her 16th birthday next week.   There’s no risk there–it can only improve the looks!

I’m guessing that most parents are a bit more generous when it comes to their kids and new cars.  And that’s great.  But our philosophy–which we communicated to the girls long ago–is that when the day came that they’d want their own car, they’d need to purchase it themselves.  (Our theory is that they’ll be more aware of their car’s value and therefore more prone to be careful with it.)

For those curious, when she gets her license next week we’re paying to add her to our insurance for our two cars.  But she’s paying for everything pertaining to hers.

 

[Follow up to this post.  That little car lasted her 4 years (the last two were spent driving back and forth to college in Missouri) after which, she ended up giving it away to a carless kid since her grandparents had a VW Beetle for sale–a deal she couldn’t pass up!]

Giving up God for Lent

shame.jpg

I’ve written previously on why I favor the observance of Lent for those interested.

My goals for Lent this year were certainly acheivable for an ascetic like me:

Fast 1 meal a day (or the equivalent)
Record what I eat
Have a significant Quiet Time each day
Follow along with the 40 Day Prayer Guide
Pray daily for passion for the lost

Confession. I botched every last one one of them. Big time. Of the 40 days, I probably skipped a meal only six or seven times and recorded what I ate only four times. I went for a period of two full weeks without a single Quiet Time and was sporadic much of the rest of the time. I only did 10 out of the 40 daily prayer assigments, and I didn’t pray for passion for the lost much at all. All in all, I think I succeeded only about 25%. In summary: I gave up God for Lent.

How could this happen?!!! I mean I’m a pastor. I’m supposed to be holy or something, right? Well I didn’t fail because the goals were too difficult. So then why did I? I suppose I could offer excuses: I was sick for two of the weeks and our family ended up on the Mexico trip. But the truth is that I failed them mostly because they became less important to me than me. I’m ashamed to admit all this to you readers, especially bursting your bubble about pastors being holy and all!

So was Lent without value this year? Hardly. Failing so miserably has had several good effects. That’s one thing I love about Lent–it has value whether you succeed or fail.

The primary thing I learned from all this is my inability to produce anything good on my own and how I need to utterly depend on God. Just as the Law was given to point out our inability to keep it, Lent this year had that same effect on me.

Providentially, I just picked up a book about Jonathan Edwards’ resolve where he reflects on his own broken resolutions. He confesses “If God should withdraw His Spirit a little more, I should not hesitate to break my resolutions and should soon arrive at my old state. There is no dependance on myself…What a miserable wretch without the assistance of the Spirit of God…How weak do I find myself!
O let it teach me to depend less on myself and be more humble.”

I learned from Edwards that my job is not “to do” such resolutions at all but rather to “humbly entreat God to do” such things through me. I should never again set goals without making my primary focus to beg God to accomplish them through me. To take it even further, I essentially need to retitle all my “to do” lists–for apart from Him I can do nothing.

A second thing my Lenten failure gave me was a renewed appreciation of Jesus. He made an infinitely hard commitment and He stuck to it without letting himself get in the way. Even when offered the gall to anesthetize the pain of the crucifixion He refused–choosing to experience the full wrath of both God and man. He went all the way for us. He followed through on what He said He would do. (It’s a good thing the Savior was Him instead of me or we’d all be doomed!)

The last thing Lent taught me this year was a greater understanding and experience of the grace of God. Though I was failing Him miserably all throughout Lent He continued to bless me immensely during that time. My self-centered, neglectful treatment of Him was insulting and deathworthy, and yet for some reason He responded to me with abundant blessings. And looking at it from an eternal, judicial perspective: although I have shown myself once again to be helpless in the flesh, He continues to clothe me with the very Righteousness of Christ as if I had never sinned! Amazing grace indeed!

So what next? Well, even though Lent is officially over, I’ve decided to redo my unfinished Lenten resolutions, completing them the right way–by humbly entreating God to get them done! This time I’ll be giving up me for Lent.

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