Category: Personal Reflections (Page 9 of 11)

At the “sponsor hunt at the mall” just before New Year’s I wore an outlandish disguise which included a flashy silver-and-black gangster-looking sleeveless hoodie. One of the girls in the youth group liked it and asked to buy it afterward.

This past Sunday I thought it would be funny to wear this hoodie to church and then give it to the girl afterward. My family didn’t think it was so funny, but I persisted and wore it anyways as we sat in the front row. When it came time for the offering I suddenly remembered that I had agreed to fill in as an usher and so I began to stand up to do my duty. Realizing I had the silly hoodie on and that I was in the front row I found myself in an awkward situation. My family was justifiably mortified and tried to get me to take it off quickly, but I resisted, concluding that it would draw more attention to it if I proceeded to take it off than just to leave it on and pretend nothing was wrong.

My family’s adverse reaction bothered me at first — until I began to look inward. This week it has made me reflect on the things that I do and my motivation in doing them. At that moment in the pew maybe my motivation was sincerely to draw less attention to my wardrobe malfunction. Or maybe I was just being stubborn — not wanting to admit to an error in my judgment. Or maybe I wanted the extra attention that I inwardly knew would result from wearing such a getup while passing the plate. I suspect the latter is the closest to the truth.

This internal conversation with myself has also made me think about other things I do to draw attention to myself. I enjoy highlighting my extremeness, resilience, creativity, outlandishness, asceticism, etc. These are not necessarily bad things — in fact most are admirable qualities — but it’s my craving to be known as such that is the issue here.

I’ve concluded that the word for this particular sin of mine is Pride. It’s one of the hidden sins that no one can see but is one that scripture casts as being among the worst. Satan fell because of it. Israel was exiled because of it. Peter was humiliated by it before the cock crowed. “God opposes the proud.” “Pride goes before the fall.” etc.

The antidote to pride is humility. Which is why I needed to post this confession. And ask for prayer to get victory over the sin of pride in my life. And invite you to call me on it when you observe pride in me.

Today is the day we recognize Martin Luther’s attempt to reform the Catholic Church by nailing his famed “Ninety Five Thesis” to the door of the Wittenberg Church back in 1517. Luther pointed out some serious errors in the Church and tried to correct them; however, the Church resisted and so Protestantism inevitably began.

Recently, my atheist friend and I were talking and the subject came up about the oftentimes sordid history of the church — the hypocrisy, the attempts to control the masses, the lust for power, the outright scams (like the selling of indulgences and relic worship), and blatent evil (such as immorality and murder in Jesus’ name). As we talked, I was admittedly embarrassed by the behavior of the Church, which for much of its 2,000 year history has been notably wayward.

This conversation with my friend was very awkward and uncomfortable for me. Here I was trying to promote the validity of Christianity and yet, the very institution to which Jesus entrusted the proclamation of His name has been corrupt for almost all of its history. Making claims to my friend about Christianity’s veracity seemed almost laughable.

I thought, “How could God possibly have put up with all this abuse and corruption in His name?” If I were God, I’d have vaporized these evil people long ago! It doesn’t make sense that He would allow them to continue deceiving and destroying the masses — and even worse: doing it in His name! It seems to actually argue against the existence of God — I mean, wouldn’t He protect His good name rather than allow selfish men to profit by it over these centuries?

I became internally indignant as I thought about this. For most of the life of the Church, it has indeed been wayward. Why did God allow them to drift so far from Truth and not just kill them on the spot? I sure would have. It would have given me great pleasure!

Then I thought about me. For most of the life of me, I too have been wayward. Selfish, indulgent, indifferent, idolatrous, wrongly motivated, etc., — essentially corrupt. And aren’t I glad that God hasn’t just killed me on the spot! Would I so gladly receive the mercy, grace, patience, love and forgiveness that I have been given, but deny it for Christ’s own church?

My indignance about the church continued to soften when I thought, “At what point should God begin smiting those who rebel?” The instant they first stray? Or should He allow time for the wayward to repent? Personally I’m thankful for 2nd chances and 3rd chances, etc. Why wouldn’t I allow Him to treat His Church the same way He treats me?

It helped even more to reflect on the fact that God is a just God and ultimately all wrongs will eventually be righted. Scripture tells us in many places that believers and unbelievers alike will one day give account for all their actions. In the end, no one gets away with anything, though in the short-term it might feel like they do.

Romans 14:12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

1Peter 4:5 But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

2 Cor 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

and many more…

Finally, it helped me to recognize that a wayward church — or a wayward believer like me for that matter — is no indictment against the existence of a holy God. Rather the fact that God restrains His hand from smiting us all instantly testifies to the fact that His attributes are far superior to mine.

Rather than lose heart or lose faith over the sinfulness of man, rejoice at how much Jesus, the Bridegroom, loves His wayward, unfaithful Bride,the church. And that He loves wayward you and wayward me.

Sir Edmund Burke is noted to have said, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.”

For twenty years at least I’ve heard this quote and I’ve found it inspirational and highly motivating. In fact, I’m sure it greatly contributed to my zealous Christian activism at times in my past.

I fully believe that the statement is true. However I’m reflecting today on what it truly means and how it is applied. What got my attention was a paragraph in a newsletter sent out by our friends at Casas por Cristo. Here it is:

What is most disheartening to me is that due to the media reports of violence here in Juarez and the reports of the Swine flu in Mexico City (over a thousand miles away from here), the people of Juarez who have little hope to begin with, are being abandoned and left with no hope at all. That breaks my heart.
Let me close with these words from Sir Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for Evil to triumph is for good people to DO NOTHING.”

Doing Something,
David Robinson,
Executive Director

When I read this use of the familiar quotation, it seemed to be strangely out of context.

After all, the meaning has always been pretty clear: “Beware, Christian: evil is going to triumph if we don’t quickly intervene to stomp it out”. This is our rally cry for purging the darkness from the world around us! These are the Christian’s marching orders! Rise up oh church of God! It’s time for a showdown with the forces of darkness! It’s up to us to purge the world of evil before it spreads like a festering cancer ending life as we know it! Evil is infiltrating every element of our society, government, media, schools, etc. Let’s get involved and DO SOMETHING to stomp it out while we still can!

So with that interpretation of the quote in my mind, you can see why I was taken aback by its use in this newsletter. There was no mention of boycotts and picketing. No writing letters to congressmen or attempting to protest gay marriage. In fact, the only action item mentioned in the entire letter was, “please come down and help us build houses for poor people.”

Then it clicked with me. What would happen if instead of focusing our efforts on purging darkness from an already dark world, instead we focused on shining the light of Christ! The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. What if we’ve had it backwards all along? What if by trying to do “something” we were really doing “nothing” other than making the dark world mad at being attacked? What if the “something” we’re supposed to do isn’t about hating and fretting and protesting, but is rather about loving, forgiving, modeling, and caring for lost people? Think how that would change the world!

It’s starting to sound rather Jesus-like don’t you think?
It’s starting to sound like the early Christians, surrounded by a pagan culture in the book of Acts, don’t you think?

We’re going to build three homes for Mexicans a month from now. And I think we’ll be doing that as a true application of Edmund Burke’s famous quote!

READ PART 1 FIRST to put this in context.

We return to the Miss USA contest for this last post. Because of the topless photos mentioned in Part 3, Carrie’s status as Miss California was called into question. The accusation was that she violated their modesty contract (I hadn’t realized they cared about such things).

Miss Prejean’s contract with Miss California USA prohibited nudity, stating on page five: “Appearing in public or permitting myself to be photographed in a state of partial or total nudity or in a lewd, compromising or sexually suggestive manner constitutes a violation of this provision.” She signed it, stating that she has not done so.

Now personally I don’t know how any Miss Anywhere contestant in the bikini competition could sign that statement about never appearing in a sexually suggestive manner, but that’s my bias coming out and that’s beside the point. The real issue is:  did Carrie violate the “partial or total nudity” part.

Into the picture steps Donald Trump (who basically owns the contest) to decide the matter. Here is his statement.

“We’ve reviewed the pictures very carefully [i’m sure he did] … we are in the 21st century and I talked about relevance and the pageants have been updated tremendously. And Carrie is a model, she’s a very successful model, we have determined – and we have the absolute right under the contract – we have determined that the pictures taken are fine,” Trump said at Tuesday’s press conference. “So, we’ve made a determination that everything we’ve seen to this date that she’s done, some were risque, but again, we’re in the 21st century, so we’ve made a determination that the pictures taken were acceptable they were fine in many cases. They were lovely pictures and in some cases they were modeling pictures, so I think that’s very important to understand.”

Some would say Carrie has been vindicated–she can retain her Miss California title. Finally a victory for conservative Christianity!

I say the opposite. Because of this incident, now Donald Trump has redefined “partial nudity” in the 21st Century to not include bare breasts. The contest has been “updated” in his words. I say the morality bar has been lowered another notch. So from now on, any contestant is free to pose topless and it’s not going to be considered “nudity” at all. Let’s all go change our dictionaries.

As far as Carrie goes, since she signed the contract it tells me either one of three things: 1. she was not honest about having those photos taken or 2. she agrees with The Donald and also doesn’t define bare breasts as “partial nudity” or 3. She thought she could squeeze through a loophole that since the photographs she allowed to be taken were unapproved they didn’t count.

Carrie is a fine person, has a wonderful Christian testimony, and has done a lot of good with her life. I like her as a person and have a lot of reason to root for her. She’s on our side.

But considering this isolated photo issue objectively, it seems clear to me that she should have been disqualified. Even better, she could have admitted having those photos taken 5 years ago was wrong and she could have humbly resigned. Imagine the impact of that!

We all majorly mess up, so I’m not pointing fingers that don’t point back at me. But when our sin is exposed, part of Christian maturity is to take responsibility for it, decry it, confess it, apologize for harm done, and to humbly submit to the authorities rather than look for loopholes. To me this is virtuosity. Too many times prominent Christians caught in sin have tried to cover it up, deny it, make excuses for it, or try to justify their behavior, but to the watching world, it simply reinforces the negative stereotype of Christians as hypocrites.

In this situation, Carrie got off the hook because Donald Trump liked her photos and changed the rules downward. But I agree with Shanna Moakler, the Co-Executive Director for the Miss California contest, who resigned over Mr. Trump’s decision, saying:

“I can not with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” Shanna’s statement continued. “I want to be a role model for young woman (sic) with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children…”

So I ask, who showed the highest moral integrity in this isolated story about the photos? I think it’s Shanna, who quit her job over it. She acted with a clear conscious. Was she vindicated?

By the way, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I turned off comments because I’ve been getting spam comments and the sensual nature of these 4 posts would quickly attract spammers. Email me your thoughts, please!

A few days ago modeling photos of Carrie surfaced on the internet, showing her in various provocative poses, some even showing her bare breasts. She contends that the wind blew her vest away (it was a wardrobe malfunction) and that the photographer snapped the pictures without her permission and then he released them on the internet. We’ll take her word for it. But my question is: “What were you doing with a man in such a precarious situation where your breasts were only a wind’s breath away from being seen even by him?”

Some have said, well she was only 17 at the time (she’s now 22) and so she didn’t fully know what she was doing. Perhaps so, but I want her story to serve as a warning to all 17 year olds: “What you do now may haunt you the rest of your life.”

Before these photos surfaced, Carrie Prejean was fast becoming the new posterchild for injustice done against a conservative Christian. She appeared on Sean Hannity, and even Dobson’s Focus on the Family for two solid days last week. But the emergence of these photos have seriously tainted her credibility. To skeptics, she’s viewed as hypocritical–championing moral purity in one area, but overlooking it in others. To conservatives, she’s now a dilemma.

I feel so bad for her. For the rest of her life, people will view her either as a fallen hero, or a big hypocrite. Those pictures can never be erased–in fact, they will continue to multiply. And thanks to her celebrity status, those pictures she didn’t want taken will now allow millions of guys to rape her in their minds. We need to pray for her–few things could be more tragic.

My audience for this post is teenagers. My point in this post is that what you do today can have serious repercussions. All sin is equally evil, but some sins have major, lifelong consequences. Be aware of that! They could alter your entire future. Believe me I’ve seen it enough times. One little mistake today could cause you regret for the next 70 years.

This is prom weekend–no better time for me to remind you!

Some examples of sins that will never go away
Pregnancy–you have no idea of the cost!
STIs–many never go away.
A photo of you that could circulate forever and jeapordize your future (ex. sexting). Cameras are everywhere now! Ask Michael Phelps.
A drink of alcohol that lowers your inhibitions to do something stupid.
Hanging with people who might take advantage of you.
Premarital sexual involvement of any kind that will rob your future spouse of intimacy.
Pornography, which affects your view of others and fosters addiction.
One use of drugs that might lead to your addiction.

I could tell you heartbreaking stories about people I know who have been taken down by each of the sins on the list above. Please be cautious. The “I was only 17” excuse won’t get you off the hook.

And now here’s the final installment.  Part 4.

While I give Carrie high scores on her boldness to defend biblical marriage, I must give her low scores in the area of modesty. In fact, I had trouble finding a suitable picture of her for this post.

The modeling/beauty pageant professions are focused predominantly on external beauty with skin and seductivity being paramount. For example, the swimsuit competitions now require them to appear in bikinis with very little left to the imagination. Others may disagree, but I question how anyone can pursue such a career as a follower of Jesus.

Perhaps I’m more sensitive on this issue than most. Having been a youth pastor for 22 years I’ve seen what immodesty does to guys who are trying to keep their thoughts pure–it tears them up. I once had a Facebook group called, “What Guys wish Girls knew about modesty” and it was amazing to hear of their gut-wrenching struggles in this area.

I’m not just picking on girls here. Christian guys have to do their part to bounce their eyes and not look nor let their minds wander. They will be surrounded by immodest girls and they bear responsibility for their thought life.

Unfortunately, worldly guys will not be so careful. Many of them have no qualms about gazing at whatever girls are willing to show, lusting after them in their minds.

Why do girls feel compelled to flaunt their bodies in front of guys? And for what purpose? For attention? Their self-esteem? A title? A crown? Their looks will fade, their true beauty is about what’s on the inside. I love it when Christian girls put their focus on that!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Prov 31:30

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 2 Tim 2:9-10

Now you can proceed to my third post on Carrie Prejean  Part 3.

A major current event right now involves controversies surrounding Carrie Prejean, the current Miss California, who is also an outspoken Christian. There are so many intersting things to reflect on with regard to the story that I’m going to divide it up into four posts.

This first post is on the subject of intolerance. As everyone knows, she likely lost the Miss USA competition last month likely because of her answer to Perez Hilton’s question about gay marriage. Her answer was very appropriate: she said we live in a country where people have the freedom to choose, but for her family she was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I couldn’t have said it much better. Way to go Carrie!

The irony is that while she’s being accused of intolerance (she’s not–she allows others to disagree) she’s being treated with intolerance: losing the contest, being called all kinds of names, and even receivinig a death threat! Another irony is that she essentially said the same thing as Mr. Obama, who was not so villified. In an interview with the Chicago Daily Tribune, Obama is purported to have said, “I’m a Christian. And so, although I try not to have my religious beliefs dominate or determine my political views on this issue, I do believe that tradition, and my religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman.” (source not confirmed). So why wasn’t Mr. Obama villified? Perhaps because he has defended gay rights and is for legal civil unions. In contrast, Carrie is perceived to be an enemy of those who would seek to expand homosexual rights and thus is an open target.

My point here isn’t about gay marriage–I have my own views about that issue, which many people on both sides would likely disagree with.

The point of this post is that it’s likely that in our increasingly post-Christian country, where biblical morality is becoming more and more disdained, we will experience great intolerance about our views. My hope is that we don’t succumb to the pressure to betray our beliefs or compromise on what we perceive to be truth. May we be like Carrie, who allowed others to disagree, but who showed integrity in being faithful to her values.

Fortunately, there is still enough of a collective conscience so that the injustice done to Carrie has catapulted her into a major news story. I fear that in the future, such injustice done to us will be largely ignored.

Carrie has shown consistent biblical moral values — with regard to marriage anyways. But that leads into Part 2.

I’ve written previously on why I favor the observance of Lent for those interested.

My goals for Lent this year were certainly acheivable for an ascetic like me:

Fast 1 meal a day (or the equivalent)
Record what I eat
Have a significant Quiet Time each day
Follow along with the 40 Day Prayer Guide
Pray daily for passion for the lost

Confession. I botched every last one one of them. Big time. Of the 40 days, I probably skipped a meal only six or seven times and recorded what I ate only four times. I went for a period of two full weeks without a single Quiet Time and was sporadic much of the rest of the time. I only did 10 out of the 40 daily prayer assigments, and I didn’t pray for passion for the lost much at all. All in all, I think I succeeded only about 25%. In summary: I gave up God for Lent.

How could this happen?!!! I mean I’m a pastor. I’m supposed to be holy or something, right? Well I didn’t fail because the goals were too difficult. So then why did I? I suppose I could offer excuses: I was sick for two of the weeks and our family ended up on the Mexico trip. But the truth is that I failed them mostly because they became less important to me than me. I’m ashamed to admit all this to you readers, especially bursting your bubble about pastors being holy and all!

So was Lent without value this year? Hardly. Failing so miserably has had several good effects. That’s one thing I love about Lent–it has value whether you succeed or fail.

The primary thing I learned from all this is my inability to produce anything good on my own and how I need to utterly depend on God. Just as the Law was given to point out our inability to keep it, Lent this year had that same effect on me.

Providentially, I just picked up a book about Jonathan Edwards’ resolve where he reflects on his own broken resolutions. He confesses “If God should withdraw His Spirit a little more, I should not hesitate to break my resolutions and should soon arrive at my old state. There is no dependance on myself…What a miserable wretch without the assistance of the Spirit of God…How weak do I find myself!
O let it teach me to depend less on myself and be more humble.”

I learned from Edwards that my job is not “to do” such resolutions at all but rather to “humbly entreat God to do” such things through me. I should never again set goals without making my primary focus to beg God to accomplish them through me. To take it even further, I essentially need to retitle all my “to do” lists–for apart from Him I can do nothing.

A second thing my Lenten failure gave me was a renewed appreciation of Jesus. He made an infinitely hard commitment and He stuck to it without letting himself get in the way. Even when offered the gall to anesthetize the pain of the crucifixion He refused–choosing to experience the full wrath of both God and man. He went all the way for us. He followed through on what He said He would do. (It’s a good thing the Savior was Him instead of me or we’d all be doomed!)

The last thing Lent taught me this year was a greater understanding and experience of the grace of God. Though I was failing Him miserably all throughout Lent He continued to bless me immensely during that time. My self-centered, neglectful treatment of Him was insulting and deathworthy, and yet for some reason He responded to me with abundant blessings. And looking at it from an eternal, judicial perspective: although I have shown myself once again to be helpless in the flesh, He continues to clothe me with the very Righteousness of Christ as if I had never sinned! Amazing grace indeed!

So what next? Well, even though Lent is officially over, I’ve decided to redo my unfinished Lenten resolutions, completing them the right way–by humbly entreating God to get them done! This time I’ll be giving up me for Lent.

I talked to the youth group tonight about how we need to grow in the area of prayer. If we don’t ask God to move powerfully in hearts and lives this year, then we’re doing everything from our own strength.

One opportunity for a prayer focus is going to be something we’ll call “The Prayermobile.” Each Saturday night from 9-10 pm we will be driving the mini-bus to various locations around town so we can pray specifically for those places. (Examples of locations are schools, city hall, firestations, other churches, Planned Parenthood, etc.) I’m committed to this: you can meet me by the buses every Saturday at church at 8:45 sharp. We’ll return by 10:15.

Also, during my lesson on prayer tonight, i handed out my list of prayer exercises, which also might be useful for some of you who weren’t there, so i’ll post it below.

21 IDEAS TO IMPROVE YOUR PRAYER LIFE
Chose several to experiment with.

1. Write down a relationship goal, declaring where you want to be in your relationship with God. Admit where you’re at, make things right, pray toward that goal.
2. Purge your prayers of routine-ness. Make each one fresh and one-of-a-kind.
3. Pray out loud, or at least move your lips to involve more of you and to avoid distractions.
4. Use a variety of body positions. Kneel for confession. Open your eyes and look heavenward for requests or praise.
5. Get uncomfortable. Don’t let sleepiness keep you from focusing. “A desire for God which cannot break the chains of sleep is a weak thing and will do but little good for God after it has indulged itself fully.” The Power of Prayer by EM Bounds
6. Sing a worship song or listen to a CD, while thinking about the words. Don’t sing praise songs with your heart disengaged. (Matt 15:8)
7. Write out prayers to help you focus and to measure answers later.
8. Set a minimum time goal to make sure you’re not neglecting God with your time.
9. Take occasional extended times in deep prayer, rather than short, shallow prayers.
10. Give Him your firstfruits: For many this is at the beginning of your day.
11. Write down everyone and everything you believe God wants you to be praying for regularly. (i.e. start a prayer list.)
12. Force yourself to pray for only eternal things if you tend to get caught up in the here and now.
13. Force yourself to submit mundane decisions to him if you tend to not involve God in your daily life.
14. Never say “Amen” for a whole day, keep a continual prayer going all day.
15. Simply thinking about God, his Word, and his creation is a type of prayer called “meditation”. (Examples: Ask: what has God rescued me from? Count your blessings. Think about some attributes of God. Reflect on how God’s love is different from man’s. Be thankful A-Z through the alphabet. Think about people God has blessed you with. Think about what Jesus went thru for you. Think about your specific sins.)
16. Pray with someone else, which helps if your mind tends to wander and it also gives you a glimpse of how they relate with God. Ride the Prayermobile!
17. When praying with others, focus on their words & agree with them. Prayermobile!
18. When someone asks for prayer, pray immediately, on the spot!
19. Practice praying FOR your enemies.
20. Go to a specific location for a different prayer focus. Ride the Prayermobile!
21. Read a good book about prayer, such as “the Practice of the Presence of God” by brother Lawrence or Fresh Wind Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala, books on prayer by EM Bounds or a biography of a prayer warrior like George Muller.