Category: Personal Reflections (Page 6 of 11)

I had the privilege of being Michelle’s youth pastor for her 7 years of Middle School and High School.

Michelle’s death affected me deeply. I was devastated when I heard the news and overwhelmed with personal sadness. The moment I heard the news on Friday I realized how much of my life was touched by hers.

During the seven years of youth group and subsequent years being away at college, I grew to love, respect and appreciate Michelle. Her faith was strong and she kept it strong by being actively involved with other believers in this church.

We made a lot of memories together. Weekly youth group times, retreats and summer trips to New Orleans, Toronto, Mexico. She was such a blessing to our group.

And her faith and impact on others continued on in college.

She talked to me last fall about hoping to help out with the youth group after graduation and I was very excited about that. She planned to help lead a girls’ Bible study and use her artistic talents to spice up the group. But as we know, God had plans for Michelle we didn’t know about.

Since I work with students all the time, I’d like to say a few words to Michelle’s classmates both from Kennedy and ISU. I watched you Sunday night and yesterday and today and I was touched by your expressions of love and sorrow at her loss. I noticed that some of you share Michelle’s faith and so today is full of hope for you. Some of you though, haven’t yet found the hope and assurance she had. Yesterday one of her old Kennedy classmates shared with me how Michelle’s sudden, unexpected death filled her with terror. As I told her, it doesn’t have to be that way. Michelle loved this life, but she longed for heaven even more. Death to her was not about personal loss, but rather personal gain—the place where real life begins…

Whatever your experience, don’t, don’t miss the fact that what Michelle and her family have shown us is genuine Christianity and it works! Their personal faith in Jesus provides the only real answers for the ultimate questions we will all face regarding life, death, and meaning…

I was her youth pastor and I suppose I taught her a lot of things over those seven years, yet I’m sure she taught me more than I ever taught her.

Her life taught me.

• How to live a full, joyous, abundant life.
• She used her talents fully. Creativity reflects God’s creativity.
• She positively impacted others—grade school thru college shared at the vigil.
• She consistently lived what she believed.
• She dreamed of and longed for heaven, her real home.

Her death taught me a lot too.

• It reminded me of the preciousness of others. We forget how much we mean to others. Since Friday I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’ve begun telling people how precious they are to me. I’ve observed relationships being made, rekindled, and restored as this has reminded us of what’s really important.
• Always be ready for eternity. This will determine our priorities.
• Finish well with no regrets. That’s why someone was able to say: “This is the happiest funeral I’ve ever been to.”

Michelle loved children’s books. I want to close by reading a passage from the last book of the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this.”

Fall, 2017.  I wrote this list back in 2016.  Some of these things have changed over the past year, but I’ll always be thankful for these things.

March, 2016.  There are lots of great churches in Cedar Rapids and we are by no means the best.  But there are some unique things about New Covenant that I really, really love.

One of those things is our commitment to being intergenerational.  Rather than targeting one demographic–being homogeneous–New Covenant functions like a wonderfully diverse family, where each member is recognized and valued.

Here’s how I’ve seen this intergenerational approach lived out in our church family.

1. I love that every week we do songs that aren’t my particular style because that means my church is not about me. This shows that in healthy families we take turns.
2. I love the variety of musical genres we utilize that reflect our diverse church family:  orchestra, big band, contemporary, rock, coffee house, brassline, acoustic, electric, and occasionally even classical opera!
3. In our culture of “moralistic therapeutic, deism” (which views God as existing just to meet my needs) I love how our inter-generational approach teaches young people that the world doesn’t revolve around them, their style, and their way.  Instead of “me” it should be more about “we” and ultimately about “He”.
4. I love how Pastor Gary utilizes the gifts of over 250 people in the leading of worship.  There’s a place for everyone:  flute players, violinists, timpani players, trumpeters like me, cellists, jazz saxophone and piano players, and even a harmonica player!
5. I love how our worship teams include all ages:  currently from 15 to 75.  If you include our 4 choirs, people serve in Big Church worship between the ages of 3 and 94!
6. I love how we all sing classic hymns as well as the latest Hillsongs praise songs.
7. If a visitor walked into our church, it wouldn’t take them long to figure out that we’re a family of very ordinary people who take turns worshiping God in a variety of ways.  They wouldn’t experience a finely targeted service catering to their demographic demands.  I expect they would find the authenticity refreshing.  If they do, they’ll likely fit in here!
8. I love how my own two daughters were raised in a church that recognized and called out their gifts and gave them opportunities to develop them.
9. I love how we’ve said that our children and youth are not the church of tomorrow, but rather the church of today (as well as tomorrow).
10. I love how children, middle school, and high school are each given 2 weeks a year to lead worship in Big Church.  I don’t know of any other large church that does that.
11. There can’t be too many churches our size that allow children’s choirs to sing in Big Church.  I love how this shows kids their value and allows them to point us to Jesus.
12. While it’s true we are age-segregated for teaching and training, I love the way the volunteers in these ministries come from all generations.  Middle schoolers helping in the nursery alongside of grandparents.  High schoolers helping in Children’s church with Pastor Mick and his team.  Youth sponsors from all life stages sharing what they’ve learned about the Christian life with teens.
13. I love how Kids Camp and Fall Fest are staffed by teens and adults of all ages, each pouring into these young lives.
14. I love how the Pathfinders (older adult) ABF has adopted our high school group and prays faithfully for them each month.
15. I love when my elderly widow friend hands me a $100 check and then she tells me to apply it to a teen who needs help going on a summer trip.
16. I love how the church budgets significant amounts of money to provide our children and youth ministry with functional facilities, reliable buses, and scholarships for trips such as Summit.
17. I love how the MTAs and Blaze Teams bring together older, experienced mentors with young people who seek to be trained in ministry.
18. I loved it when 90 year olds like Galyn Peterson, Jean Bauer, and Perry Jane came in and shared with our high school kids how they’d seen God work in their lives over their lifetime.
19. I love how our Family eXperience nights bring families together to learn and interact with truth as a family unit.
20. I love “people watching” on Main Street (our lobby) and seeing the melting-pot of ages talking, laughing, and playing together.
21. And most of all, I loved how when my daughter Brenda was trying to decide who to invite to her wedding, she had to invite the whole church, because so many people of all ages had invested in her life and she wanted them to be there to rejoice with her on that special day.

I want to shine the spotlight on a social trend I see running rampant in our culture today:   opposing someone of a different perspective by using mockery, ridicule, name-calling, unflattering photos, out-of-context quotes, and unfair characterizations.  These are ad hominem attacks, which are directed against a person rather than the positions they hold.  I see it everywhere, especially on social media.  And I think it’s leading our society down a dangerous path.

This strategy of “besting” our opponents by mocking their personhood seems like such an immature, “elementary school” tactic.  The thing that made The Three Stooges so hilarious was the way that their slapstick pie-in-the-face methods of correcting one another were so obviously foolish and pointless.  But now we’ve adopted these same tactics as a matter of course.  Continuing on this track may soon make The Three Stooges seem like documentaries of modern culture.

Certainly we all hold divergent views about politics, morality, religion, and how the world should be run.  These are important issues, which need to be discussed and debated and understood.  But complex issues — such as these are — do not have simplistic answers. Though it may make us feel superior to laugh at our opponents, we will not solve the problems of the world by mud-slinging.  Is this not bullying on an adult level?  We need to hear each other, respect one another, and listen with open ears and open hearts to fully explore all sides of the issues.

In the end, how tragically ironic would it be if we won battles of politics and morality and religion by sacrificing human dignity in the process?

“How long, foolish ones, will you love ignorance? How long will you mockers enjoy mocking and you fools hate knowledge?”  (Proverbs 1:22)

 

I read the book Unoffendable by Brant Hansen this past month and I highly recommend it. It really captures the outlook on life that I intend to have.  Hansen articulately expresses ideas that I’ve thought about quite a bit over the years, but never fleshed out on paper.

Here are my thoughts about being unoffendable, along with some great quotes (in italics) from the book.

We have to suspend our judgment of others and instead give people the benefit of the doubt.  When we judge the motives of the person who cut us off in traffic or who has failed us in some way we set ourselves up to becoming angry and offended.

“We simply can’t trust ourselves and our judgment of others…And since we don’t know, let’s choose ahead of time: we’re just not going to get offended by people.” (page 16 )

If we had a good understanding of our own weaknesses and shortcomings, we’d be less likely to take offense at others. 

“When you’re living in the reality of the forgiveness you been extended, you just don’t get angry with others easily. I suspect our sense of entitlement to anger is directly proportional to our perception of our own relative innocence.” (page 65)

We should quit trying to change people and rather treasure them.

“I don’t control anyone, because that’s God’s job. That’s his deal. I can just enjoy and love people. As I keep saying, I wish I would have known this sooner. I wish I could have seen the entire redemptive, narrative arc of the Bible.” (page 84)

We need to trust God rather than expect others to fulfill all our needs.

“We hold on to worry because we don’t trust God. We hold on to anger because we don’t trust God. We feel threatened because we’re insecure, and we’re insecure because – surprise! – we don’t trust God. When you start practicing it, you realize: choosing to be unoffendable means actually, for real, trusting God.” (page 111).

We need to give up our ego’s demand for vindication.

“It means if someone has done something to wound me, I have to endure a second hurt, one that feels like a second wound.  [just like Jesus did]  My sense of justice says the person who hurt me should pay: but with forgiveness, it’s the forgiver – the victim – who must pay again.”  [and that’s a good thing!]  (page 140)

“The cross simultaneously stands as a constant reminder of [Jesus’s] willingness to pay the bill, and as an indictment on us when we are unwilling to do the same for others.” (page 141)

“Real humility lies in self-forgetfulness. Few want to hear this but it’s true, and it can be enormously helpful in life: if you are constantly being hurt, offended, or angered, you should honestly evaluate your inflamed ego.”  (page 184)

“Self-forgetfulness is not about mystically wishing myself into non-existence or pretending I’m meaningless. It’s just the opposite. Self-forgetfulness is what happens when we’re emotionally healthy. Its remembering that God is my defender, his opinion is what matters and whatever my offenders are doing to me, I’ve done to others as well. And God has forgiven me I simply must forgive in return and forfeit my right to anger.” (page 194)

Living unoffendable results in a life of greater joy.  Focusing on how much God has forgiven you while focusing less on the disappointments of others is so less stressful.  It’s a better way to live.

This  concept of being unoffendable became part of the life resolutions I wrote years ago.  Number 20 reads: “Resolved to never take personal offense at anyone, knowing that given the same circumstances and apart from the grace of God I would have treated me likewise.”