Category: Personal Reflections (Page 4 of 11)

Don’t you love it when your kids tell you about something amazing!  Lexi, introduced me to a great resource that has quite literally changed my life.   I’m blogging about it because many of you may find this resource as helpful as I did.  What is it?  Hoopla!

Hoopla is a free service, provided by public libraries (including Cedar Rapids), offering audiobooks, e-books, and videos.  To log in, you just have to use your library card number.  I use it almost exclusively for audiobooks, of which there are tens of thousands to choose from.   You simply stream or download the books to the app on your phone and listen to them!  They return automatically in 21 days.  I started using Hoopla in January and I was shocked to see that I’ve listened to 52 books this year!

How did I have time to read a book a week while being a full-time grad student doing a counseling internship?  It has amazed me how much time can be reclaimed by making use of otherwise wasted time.  I read while at the gym, on the treadmill, in the car, running errands, traveling, mowing grass, shoveling snow, vacuuming, gardening, working on projects, etc.

To give you a taste of what is available, here is the list of books that I listened to in 2020 (in no particular order), along with a short description of each.

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Those who know me best know that, though I’m generally a content, positive, optimistic person, there is one thing that makes me absolutely incredulous:  observing others being made to feel insignificant, voiceless, devalued, and invisible.

I’ve seen the damaging effects such treatment causes.  People I know and love have been devastated by having what they love torn from them with no recourse, no negotiating, no alternate ideas, no compromising, and no say in the matter.

And I’m well acquainted with the fallout of such treatment:  the sleepless nights, the bewilderment, the anger, the disillusionment, the grief, the insecurity, and the despair.   I’ve spent far too many hours consoling such needlessly-wounded friends.

My incredulity usually compels me to draw attention to the unjust treatment of others;  I sense a duty to come to the defense of the marginalized.  I feel obliged to point out those being overlooked, to speak up for the voiceless, to enlighten the unaware, and to write passionate letters or emails.   Sometimes it helps.

Sometimes it doesn’t.  In those cases, I have found it useful to focus on two things:

1. healing the wounded (my interest in becoming a counselor was augmented by the desire to better help such hurting people) and
2. viewing the hurtful ones as blind, not evil.

About Blindness

My choice to view the perpetrators as blind rather than evil has been very helpful in allowing me to forgive rather than get stuck in bitterness.  But it didn’t stop me from judging them.  How could people be so blind to the obvious?  How could they not see the devastation they were causing?  How could they sit by and not be affected by suffering saints?  It was right for me to judge them.  Blindness is stupid.

And then last month happened.

At the beginning of the month, I found myself in a leadership position where I was in charge of carrying out the directives of a national office.   Being a responsible rule-follower, I was determined to carry out my duties to the best of my ability.  I studied the procedure manual and made a detailed list of all the tasks to be done.  I memorized the organizational flow chart and told everyone where they fit.

However,  the passions and priorities of some in our group differed from those outlined in my rulebook.  This problem was easily solved by viewing them as out-of-step and a hindrance to progress.   So I discounted their viewpoints — after all,  proper procedures must be followed,

Ironically, I was now the blind one — blind to how my actions were making others feel unimportant, unnecessary, and unwanted.  I was now the one causing people disillusionment, grief, and sleepless nights.

At the end of the month, through a series of hard conversations, God mercifully opened my blind eyes.  Here I was, doing the exact same thing that has bothered me so much in others over the years.  I was completely blind and didn’t know it.  I found that I am as capable as anyone of viewing people as problems, rather than as precious.

I quickly apologized and made things right with those I had wronged and my victims showed me grace in their forgiveness.  Happily, we are now moving forward at great speed — together — in reaching our goals.  This experience was humbling for me.

But an even greater humility came from realizing these things about myself:

• I have been such a hypocrite in being prone to judge others for the very thing I am prone to do.  I can be just as blind as those I’ve criticized.
• All of us have blind spots, but we are completely unaware that we are blind.
• Blindness cannot be avoided.  When we think we are mature and incapable of blindness we are just fooling ourselves.  We can’t see what we can’t see.
• Only God can give sight to the blind.  It takes a miracle to open a blind person’s eyes.
• This awareness makes me less prone to condemn others.  Except by the grace of God there go I.

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.  Matthew 7:5 (ESV).

• Logging out starts with asking God to reveal my own faults before I start fixating on the faults of others.

I am perhaps one of the most qualified people to write this post.

I know some people who are very particular about what they eat.  They immediately spit out whatever they find the least bit distasteful.  That’s not me.

For some unknown reason, I’m oftentimes more interested in experiencing a new taste sensation than I am about needing to be pleased by it.  I’ve said many times, “This thing that I’m eating is very unpleasant–but oh, how interesting!  It tastes awful, but it will sure make a great story!”  I’m also known for accepting food challenges, like chugging a bottle of Tabasco, or winning the Blazing Challenge at BWW.

Anyone who knows me knows that I always strive for “the full experience.”  Adventure matters more to me than pleasurable tastes in my mouth.   I like surprises and trying new things.  So at restaurants, I generally look for the most interesting thing on the menu —  the more unfamiliar or extreme the better!  Or I’ll randomly order “lunch #7” just to see what the waiter brings me.

When Cindy and I took our trip around the world last year to visit friends in Europe, Africa, and Asia, one of my side goals was to sample each country’s most exotic foods.  Ever had African cow udders on a stick?  How about Chinese pigeon heads (including the skull!)?  Or Myanmar’s stinky fruit ice cream?  Or fresh silkworms from the Chinese market?  What about steamed pig fallopian tubes?  Or Togolese goat head stew, including the snout, eyes, and brain?

I’ve eaten all those things and more, and the picture at the top of this post documents some of it! And with only a few exceptions I always choose to finish whatever I start to eat, regardless of how much I may or may not enjoy it.

So why am I telling you all this?

Not merely to merely entertain you, although I hope I made you smile!  Not merely to make you feel better about your own less-miserable life!  Not because I’m suggesting that you join me in my culinary escapades (I know you’re relieved to hear that!).

I share this because my peculiar attitude toward eating might actually provide somewhat of a metaphor for abundant living:  we mustn’t let the tastebuds of our lives filter out everything we find unpleasant.   Too often we allow our personal preferences to be the gatekeeper for what we allow in our lives.

Too often, we allow our personal preferences to be the gatekeeper for what we allow into our lives.

We’d better not parent that way!  Obviously, the early stages of parenting require us to give up our preferences.  Like it or not, new parents’ lives revolve around their helpless infants and, of necessity, these parents give up their own preferences–after all, who really desires to change that poopy diaper!  Yet as the kids grow older, parents may be tempted to reclaim their preference fulfillment, demanding that their kids accommodate their parental wants.  Wise parents know which preferences are worth battling over and which are not.

We’d better not live that way in marriage!  Cindy and I were having a discussion about marriage the other day with a young couple.  As we shared about components of a strong marriage, we reflected on the importance of each spouse letting go of their preferences for the sake of unity.  (You can imagine how much Cindy does that with me all the time!)   In a good marriage, there is a determination that I will remain committed to you even when you don’t do all the things I would prefer.  There’s also an attitude that says, “ I don’t need you to fulfill all my wants and preferences.”

We’d better not practice self-care that way!  How ironic it is when we allow our preference for comfort-in-the-present to sabotage our future well-being.   Immediate gratification keeps us from the growth and development that only comes through hard-earned exercise, healthy eating, soul care, etc.

We’d better not select a church that way!  When choosing a church, shouldn’t we look for a church that challenges us, awakens us, and confronts us where we need it?  If we choose one primarily because we are comfortable with everything (location, music, preaching, facilities, decor, etc.) might we unwittingly be limiting our own spiritual development?

We’d better not determine our calling that way!  I get inspired by people who sacrificially give up their personal preferences on a daily basis to serve a higher calling.  Teachers, social workers, medical practitioners, military personnel, volunteers, and others, challenge me to focus on the needs of others rather than focusing so much on my own wants.  Think what kind of world we would have if no one was willing to give up their preferences to do such things for the sake of others!

We’d better not recast Christianity as a feel-good religion.  The prosperity gospel portrays Christianity as if God is most interested in our comfort and pleasure.  That is quite the opposite of what Jesus modeled and taught, in fact, he guaranteed persecution and suffering for his true followers.  Ours ought to be the religion of sacrificial love, not self-love.  I am impacted by contemporary stories of persecuted Christians around the world who are standing firm even while suffering for their faith.  I admire missionaries who so readily set aside western comforts and conveniences in order to be ambassadors for God in faraway places.  The Christian life was never designed to be easy or comfortable — at least on this side of heaven.  Doing hard things is part of the package, just as it was for Jesus Himself.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have preferences or that we should seek out the way of suffering all the time.   Pleasure can be a very good thing–indeed, God has designed us with natural desires, cravings, and sensations that must have been made for our delight.  The very existence of beauty itself is an evidence of God’s creative goodness and love.  Apparently, He delights in bringing us delight.  The joys of life are little tastes of heaven and it seems right that we should embrace them when they come.

What I am saying is simply this:  we mustn’t let our preferences have too much sway as we decide what to embrace and what to reject in life.  In other words, “You don’t have to like it to eat it.”

In Togo, giant rats like this are a delicacy; this one actually cost $22, that’s more than the cost of a goat!  However, to us, it was no delicacy!  It tasted terrible;  One small bite was all we could stomach!  It’s one of the few things I couldn’t finish!

Today I crossed the finish line of a very long race and am about to start another.

I completed my final list of “to dos” this afternoon, the last of which was packing my office belongings into my car.  At 3:45 I walked down to Linda’s office, turned in my church keys, and instantly went from being Pastor Mark back to just  Mark.

I’ve been in full-time ministry for 32 years straight — and now, in an instant, I find myself unemployed and not really sure what this new normal will be like for me.  In two weeks I’ll be starting my next race — that of  a full time grad student.

What a change.  At this very moment I’m blogging these reflections instead of running youth group.   So weird.

Race Results.

Looking over my shoulder at the race I’ve just finished I am profoundly grateful and humbled that God would let me run it.

At my “graduation”/farewell party this past Sunday Cindy and I set out all of the youth group pictures and memorabilia that we had preserved from each of the past 25 years.  Perusing through them brought back many long-forgotten memories of ways that God blessed us with each other and with Himself.

I marveled at the number of youth group alums who came back to wish us farewell, coming from as far north as Duluth and as far south as Arkansas.  It was such a delight to reconnect with our old kids (some now in their 40s), watch them relive old memories, and reflect on how good God was to us during those years.  It struck me that with every single year, trip, and retreat God seemed to have sovereignly brought together those students and sponsors who needed each other at that precise moment in time.  We truly had something special.

On a personal note, Cindy and I were so profoundly touched by all those who were able to come and wish us well.  Thank you for expressing your kind words to us verbally and through the many, many cards.  Our view is that each of you has impacted us every bit as much as you say we have impacted you.  God gets the glory for it all.

It was indeed a good run!

Whenever I finish a race I find myself equally exhilarated, exhausted, and satisfied all at once — and looking for the massage tent!

So it is now.   And then on to the next race!

My farewell party is this Sunday afternoon and people will naturally be congratulating me on my 25 years as youth pastor at New Covenant.

But what most people don’t know is that less than 2 years into my job, I almost disqualified myself.  I want to tell that story.

When I came to New Covenant in 1992 the youth group was in a state of disillusionment.  My predecessor’s departure had been unexpected and the high school group was admittedly in a state of disarray.  I came in knowing the youth group needed fixing and that it was my job to do just that!  I was going to make this youth group great again!

Armed with my Moody Bible theology degree and 6 years of church ministry experience, I had all the resources I needed to turn things around!  It didn’t take me long — just a few months — to come up with just the right programs to develop leaders and make disciples.  Several students signed up for my programs and gave me great feedback.  I was doing it!  Things were really getting fixed!

Or so I thought.  One summer day — having been here just a year and a half — I was unexpectedly called in to Pastor Ray’s office, where an elder and one of my few youth volunteers (we call them “sponsors”) were waiting.  They relayed the hard news to me that actually the youth group wasn’t fixed.  At all.  In fact, a high percentage of youth group members felt like they didn’t matter.  That it was “Mark’s youth group” not theirs.  And that if they didn’t show up, no one would likely even notice.  They were unheard and devalued.  They were falling through the cracks and my “discipleship kids” were the only ones I seemed to care about.

At first, I was in disbelief and in a state of shock.  But as they relayed one account after another of those who had been feeling neglected by me I recognized that they were speaking the truth in love.  In my frenzy to run a successful program and quickly turn things around I had completely missed that this youth group was about them, not me and my grandiose solutions that were being imposed on them.

I spent a week wrestling in prayer.  I did some fasting, and serious soul-searching.  I knew I couldn’t continue to be a shepherd that was actually wounding the sheep by my pride and neglect.  I was broken.  I either had to completely change my priorities or quit my job.  Thankfully, God allowed me to stay and change.

Those who were there will recall that I immediately did several things to demonstrate my change of heart.

• I called a meeting of the whole youth group and in brokenness apologized for making the group about me, not them.  I confessed how I had imposed my plans on them rather than serving them.
• I brought in a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, which together we assembled and mounted on the wall to visually remind us all that every single person mattered.  We did this for several years.
• I stated that if anyone ever caught me using the phrase “my youth group” I would pay them money on the spot.  It was God’s youth group, and their youth group, but I needed it to not be mine.
• I confessed to having developed a “Savior Complex,” trying to run the youth group my way and attempting to shepherd the large group of students all by myself.  I committed to begin to pray that God would raise up a large team of youth sponsors, caring adults who would help prevent students from falling through the cracks if possible.

Graciously, the group gave me a second chance.  And God miraculously brought us just the sponsor team we needed.  In the remaining weeks of that summer 17 sponsors randomly approached me out-of-the-blue, asking to become sponsors.  It was remarkable because I had only prayed, never even making the need known to the church.  That so many approached me so quickly was a miraculous confirmation from God.

This traumatic experience of almost losing my job altered my life and ministry values — permanently.  It taught me the importance of listening to those whom I serve, frequently soliciting their input.  I learned to hold my agendas loosely.  To be teachable.  To be an includer. To give up control.  To do things as a team. To let others (students and sponsors) make ministry decisions that may be different than mine.  To admit that I can’t shepherd everyone and to be ok with sponsors impacting particular students better than I could.

So as I reflect on the lives of students that may have been impacted over these past 25 years I give the lion’s share of the credit to my wonderful sponsor team.  Without them our youth group would have self-destructed long ago!  Thank you, thank you to the dozens and dozens of you who served as sponsors over these years.  I couldn’t have done much of anything without you.   Did we care perfectly for every student?  Sadly no.  In a big group it’s hard to notice all the needs and direct our attention to the students when they need it most.  But looking back, we sure cared for a lot of them!

Here’s one of my favorite sponsor photos from over the years.  Mark Eades and I got our sponsors bowling shirts that year!

And now, as I step down from leading the high school group, I’m not at all concerned for the group’s well being.  My vacancy has been anticipated and the sponsors are ready.  The current team of committed sponsors will make sure that the youth group continues to function without skipping a beat and I am confident that the students will be well cared for moving forward.

I want to express special thanks to the sponsors who have committed to keep the group running smoothly during this time between youth pastors:  Stacey, Steve, Melissa, Bryan, Charley, Jennifer, Candace, Sabrina, Jeff, Tim, Brad T, Brad A, Sara, Dawn, Lynn, Ron, & Becky.  And I’m thankful for the resourcing and support that they will continue to be given by Mark Eades and Renee Kim.  The youth group is indeed in good hands!

Last night I drove the church bus for the last time.   A short trip there and back to the Great Jones County Fair — featuring a Casting Crowns concert.   Driving that bus has always been one of my favorite things to do!  As usual, this was another delightful trip.

Back at church, I dropped the kids off in the parking lot, grabbed the broom, and headed to the back of the bus, not prepared for what I would encounter there.   Tears.  Lots of them.  Coming out of my eyes.  Completely unexpected.

As I unhurriedly swept the bus for the last time I couldn’t help but reflect on how much this bus (and its predecessors) had changed our lives over these past 25 years.  Wherever it brought us it seems God was there, waiting to bond us together and teach us something profound. We always seemed to come home changed.

With tears of joy my mind raced back in time with overwhelming gratitude that God would have allowed me these over-the-road experiences.

• 15 Mexico trips — we logged about 45,000 total miles on these trips!  And they were brutal — driving over 24 hours straight through.  On each trip God brought together a unique collection of people who had a profound impact on the 41 Mexican families we helped.  In all, 829 people made the trek.
• Summer trips to Summit, Toronto, Indiana, Tennessee, New Orleans, Denver, Kansas City, Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Wisconsin and Colorado Springs.
• Close to 100 Retreats to a variety of places including Camp Courageous, Camp Wapsie, Camp Io-Dis-E-Ca, East Iowa Bible Camp, Pine Lake Camp, Pictured Rocks Camp, Camp Wyoming, and my favorite, Rustic Camp Hitaga.  Most memorable retreat:  when we accidentally burned a cabin to the ground at Camp Wyoming.
• A variety of special events: concerts, ski trips, ball games, conferences, a Billy Graham Crusade, Promise Keepers, amusement parks, sponsor hunts at the mall, Shamrock Around the Clock.
• On these buses we had singalongs, testimonies, story times, comedy clubs, autograph signing, prayer meetings, book studies, discussion groups, creation talks with Charley, get-to-know-you mixers, and even duct-taping kids to the ceiling.  Talk about bonding!
• As you would expect, some of my favorite bus memories involved adversity.  Like the time a bus engine caught on fire coming home from Adventureland and Tom Maring just happened to drive by and had it fixed within a half hour.   Or when a Mexico bus broke down in Oklahoma City for 18 hours and a youth group put us up overnight in their really cool youth building.  Or when a bus died in Cedar Falls on the way to Minnesota one winter and we impulsively rented a fleet of vans so we wouldn’t have to miss out on skiing.  Or when things got stolen out of a bus at the St. Louis Zoo with no evidence of how they got in — everything was still locked up tight!   Or when a  Mexico bus got stuck in snow in Wichita and we almost had to sleep at McDonalds overnight.   Or when we took a wrong turn in residential Chicago and ended up on a narrow street lined with cars on both sides with less than an inch of side clearance space.  Or when the transmission dropped out of a bus four miles from church . In a blizzard. After dark!
• Each was a life-changing encounter, for which I will ever be grateful.  We bonded on these trips.  Lifelong friendships were forged in these seats.  I believe there are married couples today who first fell in love on these buses.

As I continued sweeping — and weeping — I thought about how so many of my personal ministry passions were fulfilled by having these buses.  I thought of what we would have missed out on had they not been at my disposal!

My thoughts then turned to the people over the years who procured these buses and helped keep them running.  For Brian Valenti (aka The Commish), who knew how to pick the perfect bus and who trained so many drivers over the years.  For Randy Hudson who helped me pick up our first “new” bus when I first came.  For Dave Beer,  who who did — and still does — the bulk of the mechanical work and the painting.  For Jeff Westrom, who came up with snazzy paint designs and helped implement them.  For John Maehl‘s financial and property management expertise  For George Bushlack, who always puts so much heart into into keeping the buses roadworthy and in tip-top shape.  For Larry Pinkston, who wired up a 50 foot internal microphone so we could have better sharing on the road.  For Charley Snodgrass, aka KC0CD, who wired them up with ham radios and who drove more miles than anyone except me, aka KC0ODH.  For Ruth Stavlund for stitching up the torn bus seats.  And for all the drivers, who worked so hard to get CDLs to help the ministry.  For all the sponsors who gave up their comfort to mingle with teens, sharing their lives with each passing mile.  For the New Covenant attenders over the years whose offering money helped pay for these vehicles and gas.

All these thoughts flooded my mind last night.  My tears were all tears of joy and gratitude to God, and not at all of sadness.  Those great memories made within these metal walls will be with me forever and they’ve changed me permanently.  We had something special for which I will ever be grateful.  It was a good ride!

But all journeys must come to an end and God has made it clear that my time has finally come to deboard this bus.  As I lock up the bus for the last time I know it’s time for someone else to chart the course for the future of New Covenant’s high school ministry.  God’s blessings will continue through the leadership of another and that thought also brings me joy.

As for me, I know it’s time to focus my energies on bringing hope and healing to a broken world.  I’m not sure exactly where this new counseling adventure of mine will lead, but I’m excited to find out.

2017 will be remembered as the year when successful, famous people were suddenly taken down by the sins of their pasts being brought to light.

And when Christians fall, it’s doubly scandalous.  We all know of those who claimed to be followers of Jesus whose hidden sins were embarrassingly exposed.  Jesus himself, spoke out strongly against religious people who pretended to be Godly on the outside — while being corrupt on the inside.  “White washed tombs” he called them.

But before we get too critical of the hypocrites around, we should pause to recognize the propensity we all have for living a double life.

Being aware of my own vulnerability, I have set a life resolution — one of my 40 Life Resolutions —  as a reminder for me to continuously bring every vice of mine into the light.  I don’t ever want to be counted among those remembered as having fallen from grace.

Resolution #11:   Resolved to have absolutely no secrets of any kind in my personal life. I will fully disclose all my areas of weakness to trusted friends that they may hold me accountable — so that I may always be a man of complete authenticity and integrity.

How does this play out for me?   Four ways.

1.   When I mess up, I fess up.    I use this phrase a lot.  Secret  sins never go away –instead, they grow and fester until they eventually take you down. We sure see that happening around us today!  For my part, I want to live completely in the light.  This is why many years ago I installed Covenant Eyes on my computer and have had my reports sent to my wife AND my two daughters.  It’s amazing how those inappropriate images suddenly have very little sex appeal when indulging them would result in grievous conversations with my precious girls.  And even when the software doesn’t catch something that may pop up on my screen (which just happened when searching for the image above in this post) I have made it my personal policy to report what I see to Cindy — I figure it’s her business to know what my eyes and heart have glimpsed.

2.  Maximize, rather than minimize our sins.  Too many people — even within the church — try to minimize their sins, calling them mistakes or blunders.  They avoid taking full responsibility for their sin and make flimsy excuses instead.  This is a slippery slope which desensitizes people to the seriousness of their sin — they pretend they aren’t all that bad after all.   With me, if I’m going to err, I find it better to over-apologize, over-confess, and take more than my share of responsibility for my actions.

3. Absolute accountability.   By this I mean that I intend to be forthright in confessing not just my bad behavior, but also my sinful attitudes, thoughts, and weaknesses.   A mentor of mine once chastised me for my stated goal of confessing every sin.  He warned me that “people can’t be trusted to know everything about us.”  I respectfully disagree.  We’ll only become as holy as we become honest.  And if I’m doing things that potentially could make me unsafe around others, maybe I should stop doing those things!

4. Open Invitation.  I invite others to speak into my life about sins that I may be blind to.  That includes you!

As this new year arrives, may God’s people renew their efforts to live with integrity, that we may not see more of the casualties caused this past year by Christian hypocrisy.  It starts with us.  Join me in making such an important resolution.

Jesus sums it up in Matthew 5:16:   ^“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

[This is a transcript of what I shared today at my dad’s funeral.]

I recently blogged about wanting to die the way my dad did.  It’s also equally true that I want to live the way he lived.  God’s fingerprints are all over that story too.

As an infant I was adopted by Jim and Corey Forstrom.  There were a million homes where I might have been placed, but God sovereignly delivered me to these extraordinary parents.  I will forever be grateful for that.

My dad’s life verses were  Proverbs 3:5-6.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.“

“Trust in the Lord with all  your heart…”  At age 9, the Lord prompted Dad to  place his trust in Jesus for the forgiveness of his sins.  He recognized that he was a sinner, deserving of the wrath of a holy God and that it was only by God’s mercy and grace provided through the death of Jesus on his behalf that he could be made right with God.  Dad understood that God’s free gift of salvation could only be received through faith and not through doing good works.   Yet his life was characterized by good works, not as a way to earn his salvation, but out of gratitude for what God had done for him.

At age 19 — in an Iowa bean field of all places — the Lord impressed upon my dad a conviction to enter into full-time Christian service.  And oh how he followed that call!

By the time I entered the picture ten years later, my dad had finished college and seminary, and had been redirected from being a missionary in Africa to serving as a youth pastor in two different churches in Chicago and Minneapolis.  We then went to Crystal Free for four years before spending the next 22 years here in this church [First Free Rockford, Illinois].  And then my parents moved back to Minnesota for 8 years of involvement with the National Free Church missions, followed by 12 years of volunteer service  before returning here to Rockford for these past five years.

What I’d really like to share with you today is what I’ve personally gained from being Jim Forstrom’s son.

What a privilege to have had him as my dad!  As I reflect on what his life meant to me, I realize that I could speak for hours and hours about this.  But for your sakes, I will choose just a few of his qualities to focus on today.

The  first thing that comes to mind about dad is his authenticity.  What he taught, he lived.  At home he was exactly what you saw anywhere else.  He had a daily walk with Christ and he continually aligned his life with Scripture.  This is his Bible and this was the foundation of his life.  In a world where we see so many badly behaved so-called Christians who preach one thing but who live compromised personal lives, my dad stood out to me as the “real deal.”  I got a front row seat in seeing what a real Christ-follower looks like and it made me want to be one too.   If this is what being a Christian is all about, I want in!  Anyone who truly knew him would have felt the same.

His leadership in the home is the second thing that comes to mind.  Because my dad led our home using the principles of Scripture, it was a place of good relationships, love, nurture, respect, support, encouragement, and great delight.  I have only positive memories of those years.  Shannon and I had the privilege of growing up in an unusually healthy home.  Today, I find myself passionate about helping dysfunctional families become healthy, and I’m sure it stems back to the nurturing environment of my childhood home.  I personally reaped the benefits of a healthy home and I want that for others.  My future career in counseling finds its roots in my healthy home growing up.

My dad’s humility in serving others is something else that I greatly admire.  He was always content to be behind the scenes:  planning, organizing, problem-solving, equipping, training, and deploying.  He accomplished great things in life, but he didn’t need credit for them, or to be placed in the limelight, or to receive recognition.  His life was more about others than himself.  He preferred to make others shine.  I need to be more like him in this way.

His commitment to faithful hard work and finishing well have truly inspired me.  I tend to be lazy, but no one could ever accuse Jim Forstrom of laziness.  He was always on mission and enjoyed doing things that mattered.  A couple of years ago, when dementia had begun restricting his ministry opportunities, I remember him asking me for prayer that he could still find some kind of useful ministry to do during his remaining years.  It turned out that his final ministry was one of prayer, which he faithfully did right until the end.  I loved browsing through his folder of prayer letter updates, with notations from him about many of them in the margins.  They were his boys — and girls.   How he loved praying for their families and the advancement of their ministries.

D.L. Moody, the famous evangelist, once said something profound that could just as well apply to my dad:  “The world has yet to see what God can do with…the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man.”

On behalf of our family, I want to personally say how much your love and support has meant to us during this time of Dad’s homegoing .  Yes, we are grieving that he’s not currently with us.  But it is times like this that reveal the authenticity of our belief in what Scripture teaches.  We live based on the truth of this book and we die in the confidence of what this book teaches — that there is guaranteed for us an everlasting life with Jesus.  Dad had no fear of death, in fact in his last conversation with Mom he talked about looking forward to being  with Jesus.

Eternal life is a promise for those like Dad who have repented of sin and self-effort and who have trusted in Jesus’ death and resurrection for salvation.   Because of this confidence we don’t need to grieve like the world does.  We grieve with hope.  We know we will be reunited with Dad for eternity, enjoying the rewards that await all followers of Jesus who serve him well.  I know that Dad wanted nothing more than for all of his family and friends to one day end up with him in heaven.

Many of you listening to me [reading this] today never had the privilege to meet my dad.  Perhaps he sounds like someone you wish you could have known.  The good news is that you can meet him!  Give your life to Jesus and you can spend eternity getting acquainted with my amazing Dad!

I want to live the way my dad did because his life looks a lot like Jesus’.

Thank you for being here for our family today.