My essays about healthy relationships with God, others, & yourself.

Category: Christian Perspective (Page 4 of 4)

My crazy story of God’s mercy.

Yesterday I had a crazy encounter with God’s mercy.

I typically give plasma on Wednesday mornings before going to work.  Since it’s chilly in the plasma center when I go there I wear a special down sleeveless jacket to keep me warm, with just my arms exposed.   I keep this jacket in the backseat of my car.  Yesterday, as usual, I went into the garage, opened the car’s back door, put on my jacket, got in the front seat, and drove the mile and a half to Biolife.

I parked in the first row and went in and, again, as is typical, had a successful donation.  But when I returned to the parking lot 75 minutes later, I was SHOCKED to find my laptop sitting on top of my car!  I was horrified and stunned to realize that I had set my laptop on the roof of my car in my garage when I was retrieving my jacket.  I had completely forgotten about it!  I drove the mile-and-a-half without it falling off, and then it sat there on top of my car for 75 minutes without getting stolen by the many passers-by.  This was a miraculous encounter, which to me is a perfect demonstration of God’s mercy.

Mercy is when we do not receive the negative consequences that we deserve.   By all accounts, my negligence should have resulted in my laptop being shattered on the roadways or stolen.  (Btw, on many other occasions I have received penalties for my negligence such as sending iPhones through the washing machine multiple times!)  But this time God showed me great favor so I didn’t end up getting what I deserved.

While I’m on the subject, closely related to mercy is another biblical term called grace.  Grace involves receiving a blessing that is completely undeserved.

I like to visualize the relationship between mercy and grace using the illustration of an elevator.  Mercy is like an elevator when it raises us up out of the curses we deserve down below.  Grace is the same elevator when it takes us up to levels of undeserved blessing.

The Importance of Showing Affection in Marriage

This past week, my daughter Lexi randomly discovered “The Brady Bunch” on YouTube. She’s quickly become addicted to it–but this is one of the better addictions; it offers wonderfully clean, and wholesome entertainment compared to what is so often dished out by Hollywood today.

Watching the Bradys is like traveling in time back to my childhood — in fact, I was about my girls’ age when I used to watch it every day after school. (I admit, I was crushing on Marcia.)  It’s been a delight to revisit these shows, laughing with my girls and talking about the relative simplicity of life in the 70s.  Yes, corded phones used to be attached to the wall!  

One thing that stands out about the the Brady Bunch is the level of affection shown by Mike and Carol. It’s obvious that they are in love, nuzzling and flirting all the time — even in front of the kids. But nobody blushes — in fact, the kids relish their parents’ mutual delight nearly as much as Mike and Carol do. The affection of their parents seems to add to the well-being and security of their home.

Which is exactly the point I wish to make.

Today, we live in a world where marriage is breaking down before our eyes. We might blame the secular culture for devaluing and redefining marriage, but perhaps the greatest hindrance is the lack of healthy marriages being modeled.  Our kids are subtly being taught something about marriage every day.

Think of the messages they get from television and movies: sensual delight is found primarily outside of marriage and marriage will limit your options — almost like going to prison. Married people have to “settle down” and stop having fun. Bachelor parties have become like the Mardi Gras before the dreaded season of Lent. No wonder kids today don’t value marriage!

Christian parents are not exempt.   Do we who are married show our kids that marriage is a delight or do they see it as more of a contractual arrangement where the parents simply co-exist?

Why might Christian parents neglect to show affection in front of their kids?   I can think of three reasons.

First. Is it in hopes that our kids won’t think about sex? Too late, they already do! God has given them massive amounts of hormones and they’re trying to figure out what they’re for. We’ve got to show them that the proper context for drives, affections, and sensuality is in marriage — otherwise they’ll begin to seek the fulfillment of these things in all the wrong places.

Second. Is it because showing affection is out of our comfort zone? I realize that your background, personality, ethnicity, circumstances etc. affect your comfortability with showing affection, but I suggest that nevertheless it must be shown. It may take getting used to and you may observe some eye-rolling at first, but it will impact your family for the better. My kids have gotten used to us snuggling on the couch; they see us holding hands; they catch my cheesy pickup lines some nights before bedtime, and they hear me tease about wanting a “transparent shower curtain” in our bathroom for my birthday. They groan at this last one of course, but through it all, they learn that their parents’ affection is genuine and secure, which makes the whole family feel secure. And in the process, they learn what marriage is meant to be, hopefully wanting that for themselves one day.

Third. Is it because we honestly don’t have any affection for our spouse? If this is the case then the best thing you can do for your kids is to sprint directly into marriage counseling. Affection isn’t negotiable. It’s not the icing on the cake of marriage it is the cake itself. Marriage is ALL about the quality of the relationship. As far as it depends on you, do whatever is possible to get help with your marriage. I would be glad to chat with any of you about how to get help in this area.

Guilt. Lastly, I fear some of you will read this and simply feel guilty because you’re not able to model a healthy, affectionate marriage to your kids. Perhaps you’re a single parent or you’re stuck in a marriage where — due to circumstances beyond your control — affection is simply not going to be a reality. I want you to know that God is big enough to overcome your situation! He’s so good at working in spite of us. Trust Him. Pray that your kids will see healthy marriages modeled in the lives of other mentors. (That’s why I require my youth group volunteer couples to show PDA in youth group.) Perhaps your unfortunate situation will be used positively to give your kids a thirst for what you yourself long for. God’s not limited by anything. Trust Him.

And for some of you perhaps the first step would be to watch a couple reruns of the Brady Bunch!

 

Join Me For Breakfast

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I’ve decided that I need to improve my daily devotional life by adding some structure. Since Pastor Bob is about to start his sermon series on Romans 9-11, I thought that would be a good thing to study on my own each morning.

So, beginning today and continuing every single day [hopefully] for the five weeks, I’m going to begin each day having a little spiritual breakfast. I’m following the schedule that Bob has suggested, with Saturday being a review day and Sunday introducing the passage on which his sermon will be based.

I’m going to spend time digging in deep, reading and contemplating the passages and journaling my thoughts here on my blog.

I don’t presume that any of you would want to join me in this journey. But if any of you also need structure and would want to go on this journey with me on some of these days, that would be wonderful. I’d love it if you posted some of your own comments on the day’s passage–we could learn from each other!

Here’s the reading schedule I’m following.
I’m going to print it out and make a bookmark!

Series Title– “Exchange: Relationship”

Week 1 – Gaining a Right Perspective, part 1″
Sun, Feb 1 Rom 9:1-13
Mon, Feb 2 Rom 9:1-2
Tue, Feb 3 Rom 9:3-5
Wed, Feb 4 Rom 9:6-7
Thu, Feb 5 Rom 9:8-9
Fri, Feb 6 Rom 9:10-13
Sat, Feb 7 Rom 9:1-13 review

Week 2 – “Gaining a Right Perspective, part 2”
Sun, Feb 8 Rom 9:14-18
Mon, Feb 9 Rom 9:14
Tue, Feb 10 Rom 9:15
Wed, Feb 11 Rom 9:16
Thu, Feb 12 Rom 9:17
Fri, Feb 13 Rom 9:18
Sat, Feb 14 Rom 9:1-18 review

Week 3 – God’s Justice
Sun, Feb 15 Rom 9:19-33
Mon, Feb 16 Rom 9:19-21
Tue, Feb 17 Rom 9:22-24
Wed, Feb 18 Rom 9:25-26
Thu, Feb 19 Rom 9:27-29
Fri, Feb 20 Rom 9:30-33
Sat, Feb 21 Rom 9:1-33 review

Week 4 – “The Only Road to Righteousness”
Sun, Feb 22 Rom 10:1-13
Mon, Feb 23 Rom 10:1-2
Tue, Feb 24 Rom 10:3-4
Wed, Feb 25 Rom 10:5-8
Thu, Feb 26 Rom 10:9-10
Fri, Feb 27 Rom 10:11-13
Sat, Feb 28 Rom 9:1-10:13

Week 5 – “Without Excuse”
Sun, Mar 1 Rom 10:14-21
Mon, Mar 2 Rom 10:14-15
Tue, Mar 3 Rom 10:16-17
Wed, Mar 4 Rom 10:18
Thur, Mar 5 Rom 10:19
Fri, Mar 6 Rom 10:20-21
Sat, Mar 7 Rom 9:1-10:21 review

Week 6 – “There’s Always Hope”
Sun, May 3 Rom 11:1-24
Mon, May 4 Rom 11:1-6
Tue, May 5 Rom 11:7-10
Wed, May 6 Rom 11:11-16
Thu, May 7 Rom 11:17-20
Fri, May 8 Rom 11:21-24
Sat, May 9 Rom 11:1-24 Review

Week 7 – “Our Great and Glorious God”
Sun, May 17 Rom 11:25-36
Mon, May 18 Rom 11:27-27
Tue, May 19 Rom 11:28-32
Wed, May 20 Rom 11:33-34
Thu, May 21 Rom 11:35
Fri, May 22 Rom 11:36
Sat, May 23 Rom 11:25-36 Review

"Sacred Pathways"

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On our Winter Retreat, our teaching theme presented the “Sacred Pathways” described in the book by the same name by Gary Thomas.   I’m going to summarize the book here so parents will know what we talked about, but I also think every believer would benefit spiritually by learning the insights presented in this book.

 So here’s a quick overview to clue you in.

Gary Thomas is one of my very favorite authors.  He is, a marvelous church historian who gleans spiritual gems from the forefathers of our faith and puts them in easy to understand language.  In his historical research, he has identified nine spiritual “temperaments” or ways that people are wired to best love and connect with God.  Knowing how you’re wired to worship helps you experience God in more meaningful ways.

The nine pathways are

  • The NATURALIST — worships God through experiencing God’s creation
  • The SENSATE— worships God through the five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, & taste)
  • The ENTHUSIAST — worships God expressively through joyful passion and expectation.
  • The INTELLECTUAL— worships God by studying Truth and establishing firm beliefs.
  • The TRADITIONALIST— worships God by enjoying historic practices of the church, symbols, creeds, and hymns.
  • The ASCETIC— worships God by living a life of simplicity, solitude, and self-denial.
  • The CONTEMPLATIVE— worships God by meditating on an intimate, loving, personal relationship with Him.
  • The CAREGIVER — worships God by loving and serving others.
  • The ACTIVIST— worships God by making efforts to change the world.

All the “pathways” are valid and necessary in the church.  We’ll each have several that are dominant–and knowing that helps us to avoid judging others’ ways of worshiping.  It also helps to know that it’s ok for me to worship in a way that may be different from others.

It’s also useful to try other pathways to expereince God in new ways.  During the retreat after presenting each pathway in detail we had a time to experience each one (nature prayer walks, contemplation, reading a CS Lewis piece, etc.)

I’d encourage parents of retreat attenders to sit down and talk about your son or daughter’s pathways.  It would be a great way for you to get to know them better.

For the same reason, I presented this material at the Parents of Teens class two weeks ago.  Click here for the chart I passed out there, which explains the nine pathways in more detail if you’re interested!  sacred-pathways-overview.pdf

Click here if you’d like to take the simple Assessment Quiz that I shared with the group. Sacred Pathways Quiz

By the way, in case you’re wondering about my pathway mix–I’m an Ascetic, and a Contemplative, who’s becoming more and more of a Traditionalist!  That explains my previous post below!

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