My essays about healthy relationships with God, others, & yourself.

Author: Mark Forstrom (Page 12 of 13)

Why I’m observing Lent.

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For 1,700 years it has been a Christian tradition to celebrate Lent.  That means that ever since the 3rd Century, this has been done each spring.  Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Blaise Pascal, Christopher Columbus, Martin Luther, and others likely took part in this historic observance.

Because we’re not liturgical like Catholics or Lutherans, churches like ours have tended to throw out all the ancient traditions.   But I think Lent is one tradition we should retain.

Jesus gave up everything for us so the custom of denying ourselves some comfort for the 40 days prior to Easter is an appropriate way to commemorate his death. It can be a way to draw close to Jesus as we in some small way “share in his sufferings.”  An especially good practice for any of you fellow ascetics!

And it’s also a great time to focus on self-control rather than our usual mode of indulgence.  An especially good practice for any of you like me who need to practice restraint!

It begins this Wednesday “Ash Wednesday” when ashes are typically “painted” on the forehead in the sign of the cross to symbolize humility and repentence: a modern day version of “sackcloth and ashes”. 

With or without the ashes, I challenge you to think of what you’ll seek to cut out of your life during this Lenten season.  Not as an empty ritual, but rather as a way to love and connect with Jesus.

Poland English Camp

Hi!  I’m in Poland right now, and you can read updates from our trip on Pastor James Wartian’s blog!  And photos can be viewed at www.poland.impactforjesus.org

This is what happens when kids try to fix their own problems.

I was sitting in my Lazy Boy getting caught up on some World Magazine issues that I had missed reading.  My wife, Cindy, was out for the evening.  Lexi, our 10-year-old was suddenly in crisis.  She had just gotten some hot chocolate, when somehow, she knocked it over in our living room and it went all over the carpet, the sofa, the miniblinds, the wall, etc.  What a mess!

It was an accident, so I couldn’t get too upset–after all, I’ve caused worse accidents!  But Lexi was clearly upset, bawling and calling herself “stupid.”

I remained in my chair, waiting until she cooled down,  Then I called her over to come to sit in my lap.  I asked her how she felt about the whole hot chocolate incident.

“I feel like an idiot,” she whimpered sadly.  “I’m so clumsy.”

“That did make quite a mess,” I said, pointing out the various areas that now were spotted with brown.  “And I’m sure Mom won’t go for the new look.”  So I said, “Let me ask you this,  would you feel like less of an idiot if I cleaned up your mess or if you did?”

“I’d feel like more of an idiot if you had to clean up my mess.”

“Of course, you would.   People feel even worse when they cause extra work for others, don’t they?  That makes a lot of sense. ”

“Yea, but Dad, this mess is way too messy.  I could never clean it up.”  This thought started her bawling again.

Squeezing her tight, I said, “What if I believed you could clean it up all by yourself!  We have a really cool carpet shampooer and I’m sure you’re old enough to use it.  How about if I teach you how to do it?   Shall we give it a try?”

“I guess so.”

So I brought the machine upstairs and showed her, step by step, how to fill the shampoo tank in the sink and empty the dirty one into the toilet; how to spray, scrub, and vacuum the sofa and carpet.  And then, for the next hour and a half, while I resumed my World Magazine reading, Lexi went to work on the chocolate stains one at a time–all by herself.   She did the carpet and then the sofa, and she kept going–she even cleaned under all the cushions and then did the other sofa that wasn’t even baptized by cocoa.  Lexi cleaned things we’ve never cleaned before.  Her despair had turned to joy–she was obviously loving it!

I tell you all this because one of our key parenting principles is that kids must eventually learn to solve their own problems.  Too often we parents make their problems ours.  Either we rescue them (helicopter parents) or we belittle them (drill sergeants).   By giving them the responsibility to fix their own problems we honor them and treat them as contributors, rather than simply dependents.  At such times we should not rescue but empower.

And they may learn some new life skills as well.  In fact, just before bedtime, I caught her on the computer printing something out.  This is what it said.

Lexi's Poster

CARPET CLEANER BUSINESS

Lexi Forstrom is going too start a carpet cleaning business starting Nov 9-Dec 15.  Probably 10-20 dollars per appointment.

She will bring:

Her own carpet cleaner   /   Her own supplies

You will need to provide:

A bathroom with a toilet  /   An adult there

Your time  /   Something to clean.

She will clean:

Carpeted Couches  /   Carpet

Carpeted chairs. /   Etc. If you tell her first.

For more information call 393-0415.

In many homes, a cup of spilled hot chocolate would result in frustration, anger, yelling, tempers, and words.  In our “fix your own mess” home that spilled cup might result in a promising career!

Caught at the A-Shop

 

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Tonight I caught eleven of our senior highers at the Adult Shop and it thrilled my heart!

Of course we were there to pray! It’s been two years now since we started praying weekly at the Adult Shop. Let me explain to you parents what this is all about because on the surface I know it sounds a little dubious!

Two years ago this month, Jordan Koskamp, Bill Uelze, myself and a couple of guys from Cedar Valley were brainstorming ways to help impact our city. My pastor friend Charles Daugherty had recently told me of another city where people prayed drug dealers out of town. We had just become aware of the new Adult Shop North–which is only a mile from our church–and decided to start to pray it away.

So that night we started what has become a weekly prayer time in cars on the street in front of the A-Shop (located next to Frontier Garden Center, which is across from the Happy Chef on Blairs Ferry.) We pray from 9:30-11:00.

Tonight was typical. The eleven of us prayed for God to overcome evil in our city, country, world, and in our own hearts as well. We pray for each person who comes to the A-Shop as well as the owner and employees. We pray “for” them, not “against” them. They are not the enemy, but they’ve been seduced by the enemy. We pray for freedom from their bondage and for them to find real satisfaction in Christ.

We’re not there to judge, but to bless. A couple of times, we’ve had pizzas delivered inside to show them our love. Tonight, we started a new tradition.  I’m going to bring in a dish of candy to the desk worker and let him know we’re praying.

It’s a place where you can feel the spiritual battles raging and we’ve sensed some victories as well. Often we’ve sensed we’ve prayed people away, who drive in and then end up changing their minds and don’t go in.  One man sat in his car for about 20 minutes, deciding whether to go in before finally coming to his senses and driving away.

We always pray for our church, our youth group, and our personal holiness as well. But by the grace of God any of us would be caught up in Satan’s deceptions.

Hopefully this explains to you parents what this is all about. I’m almost always there myself each week and if not, there is another adult youth sponsor. If your kids want to come, just drive down the street “Crane Lane”. All the cars parked on the street belong to our group. We pack ourselves into the largest of the vehicles for the prayer time, so just walk up and we’ll add you to a carload.  Typically, just look for my van with the green trim and the running lights on.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Mark

Family Devotions

family devos

A friend and I had lunch the other day and he asked me what our family does with family devotions.   I’m going to tell you what I told him because today was a classic example of my favorite approach to this subject!

Those of you who know me, know that consistency is something I struggle with and family devotions is no exception.  We’ve tried the daily devotional books, but it’s just hard for me to do that with any regularity.  Plus, I’m not a “curriculum guy.”  I balk at prescribed lessons that may or may not be relevent to my family’s current needs, so that has soured my enthusiasm for them.  Plus they seem like assigned reading to me, and I’ve never liked assignments.  While they may be quite suitable for many families, I personally quit using such devotion books years ago.

So am I saying that family devotions are not important–that they’re no big deal?

Absolutely not!  Family devotions are one of the primary responsibilities of Christian parenting.  It’s just that for me, devotions are a way of life more than a set aside time.  To me, family devotions happen everywhere:  in the car, on vacation, in the pet store, watching movies, listening to secular radio, snuggling in my Lazy Boy, and often at the dinner table.

Take tonight for example.  I was in my Lazy Boy reading Google News on my laptop when Brenda called out to say her seafood enchillada dinner was ready.  I brought my laptop over to the table because I had just read: 

But as the Amish were burying their dead, there was also talk of heroics. Marian Fisher, 13, is said to have stepped forward and asked her killer to “shoot me first,” in an apparent effort to buy time for her schoolmates… What’s more, her younger sister, Barbie, 11, who survived the shooting, allegedly asked the gunman, Charles Carl Roberts IV, to “shoot me second,” Rhoads said.

The four of us sitting around the dinner table reflecting on this current event was more powerful to me than any book lesson I’ve ever done.  We talked about the amazing faith of these Amish girls, how great it would be to have such a view of death and life, how their example is bound to impact the world, how dying well is as important as living well, how part of me wishes I were Amish.

This discussion led me to remind the girls of my personal mission statement, part of which reads, “…to make myself available for God to use for His glory–whether by my life or by my death…”  We had a great discussion about how people wrongly tend to cling to life as if this is all there is, when in reality as one Amish man said: “we believe in the hereafter. The children are better off than their survivors.”

So for those of you like me who struggle with consistent devotions at a set time and place, go ahead do your devotions anyways:  by sharing about life and faith as you encounter it–on the fly.  Talk about what following Christ means to you, what you’re learning, what you wrestle with, what you respect, how you feel about the culture, what you wish for them to discover.

 Oh, and the girls are now in bed, but Google News just gave me a topic for devotions for tomorrow:

Contemporary Christian singer-songwriter Michael W. Smith joined a community prayer service at a nondenominational evangelical Christian church in the Lancaster suburbs…”Is this God’s will that this happened? Absolutely not,” Smith said….”

Are you “absolutely” sure about that Michael?  Yeesh.  Looks like we’ll be addressing the sovereignty of God next!

Don't give up on wayward kids!

 

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This past Saturday I attended the 50th year anniversary celebration of my former church in Rockford Illinios.

People came back from all over the midwest to be part of this reunion.

I served there for six years and have been gone for almost 14, so it was like a time warp for me.  All of the kids in the youth group then are now between 27 and 38, so I was interested to see how they’ve all turned out.  In several instances I was surprised.

One guy in the group was a skateboarder, who seemed disinterested in anything spiritual.  Today he is a missionary working with troubled teens in inner city Chicago.  He thanked me for the example of my “open door” which he says helps him today in his ministry.  To be honest, I don’t ever recall him ever coming into my office–I had no idea that I had had any effect on him whatsoever.

Another encouragement was a guy who had merely coasted through youth group, never getting too serious.  Now after some poor choices and a painful divorce, God has gotten ahold of his life.  I didn’t actually get to see him that weekend because he was away at Promise Keepers!

There was a gal in the group back then who struggled so much with depression/suicide that I helped her family do an intervention, sending her out of state for treatment.  I was happy to hear that today she is happily married, going to church and seeking God’s direction for her life.

There are other stories I could tell, but I highlighted these three to encourage parents never to give up on their kids.  A lot can happen in 14 years.  A lack of spiritual interest now doesn’t necessarily mean they will remain that way.  And some may need to flounder a bit before fully embracing faith.  And some are being impacted by us in ways we can’t perceive yet, but someday may discover. 

As Winston Churchhill once said in a speach, “Neva give up.  Neva, neva give up.” 

Parents: why we need to communicate

 

Communication

Today I got a call from a parent I’ve never met. She was in tears and wanted to meet with me and share the struggles her daughter–who attends our youth group–was currently facing. We met and she shared about the temptations to which the girl was being drawn, the mom’s fears, and the underlying issues. I listened and offered some perspective, some encouragement and a few suggestions. When our time was finished, we both realized how beneficial our conversation had been for both of us. 

In this case, it wasn’t a major crisis–the student hadn’t yet made regrettable mistakes. But this parent wisely sought counsel as a preventative measure and I feel good about the plan this parent decided to follow.

I was impressed by this mom’s courage in contacting me–a virtual stranger–to get perspective. Sharing the situation with me required honesty, vulnerability, and humility in a culture that pressures everyone to pretend our families are “just fine, thanks.” This parent realized her limitations and wisely reached out for advice.

What impressed me just as much was that this parent had already made great choices in handling the situation. I was able to affirm this and offer additional ideas for using that approach even more effectively. I am optimistic about the outcome and anticipate that the relationship between the mom and teen will be strengthened through this situation.

This parent expressed appreciation for our conversation. But I believe I benefitted more than she did. Our conversation taught me several things for which I am grateful.

1. I learned about a struggle that probably affects many kids in our group. The shepherd who knows his sheep will be a better shepherd.

2. Wrestling through this situation with this mom added to my collective understanding of parenting dilemmas, which helps me to help other parents in the future. Her experience with her daughter will be something I can pass on to others in similar situations.

3. I saw in this mom a broken heart full of love. I learned more from this than anything she learned from me.

4. As I inquired about her daughter’s youth group experience, she affirmed many things we’re doing and gave me some ideas of ways we could reach out more to kids like hers. We’ll never be improving as we should without good constructive feedback from parents like her–and you!

I write all this to encourage you parents not to be shy about sharing your stories with me and the other youth sponsors. As we wrestle together through the joys and sorrows of parenting, we all benefit! Don’t wait for a crisis!

Hope to hear from you soon!

Mark

PARENTAL PREROGATIVE

Some of my favorite parenting books are a series called “Parenting with Love and Logic.” I teach parenting seminars around the area, using many of the books’ principles and so I thought it would be helpful to start sharing concepts from my seminar.

As parents, we sometimes forget the truth in one of my Markisms: “He who pays the mortgage makes the deals.” What this means is that the parents should have a lot of sway in what kind of environment their home has. As parents, it is YOUR turn to be in charge of your household. When you were kids, you had to follow your parents’ rules. When your kids get homes of their own it will be THEIR turn to be in charge of their household. But that time is not now! YOU are in charge. They are beholden to you–don’t forget that.

In a loving, honoring way, you can set the standards by which your home operates. Use your parental prerogative as leverage in making your home one that you can live in! But don’t be a dictator or “drill sergeant”. Be a compassionate, empathetic deal-maker. Here are some examples of three actual situations and the advice I gave parents.

CASE 1. “Billy” was taking 30 minute showers and running up the family gas and water bills. Mom and Dad frequently got on Billy’s case and resorted to nagging, scolding, and outright yelling sometimes. I suggested that they use their parental prerogative and give “Billy” four choices–always choices the parents can live with. “Billy we love you, but this extended shower usage of yours is frustrating us and we’ve decided something needs to change. You know that frustrated parents are no fun to live with so we’ve come up with a few options to avoid that. You may 1. take 15 minute showers or less. 2. If you decide to take a shower longer than 15 minutes you’re welcome to pay 50 cents a minute to cover the cost of the extra gas and wateror 3. You may shower elsewhere or 4. not at all. Your choice.”

By approaching it this way “Billy” may learn several things. A. Utilities actually cost money. B. Money spent on utilities can’t be used for other things. C. Mom and Dad aren’t willing to let showers spoil a positive relationship with their kids. D. People don’t like being around stinky people who don’t take showers!

CASE 2. “Billy” blares the stereo so loud that it shakes the chandeliers. Mom, Dad and the siblings keep yelling at “Billy” to turn it down. It’s a constant source of tension in the home and it’s keeping it from being the peaceful refuge the parents always dreamed of. I suggested that they use their parental prerogative and give “Billy” three choices–always choices the parents can live with. “Billy we love you, but this loud music of yours is ruining our domestic tranquility and it’s no longer acceptible. Quite frankly we’re offended that the electricity we pay to your room is being used against us in this way. So we’ve decide that whenever other family members are home you may either 1. wear headphones, 2. pay for insulating your room to the extent that the sound coming out does not exceed 75 decibels or 3. simply keep the volume in your room turned down below 75 decibels (we’ll buy a decibel meter at Radio Shack.) If you can’t operate within these perimeters, then we’ll need to disconnect the electricity to your room and charge you for the electrician bill.”

What “Billy” learns from this is that A. it’s never acceptable to have fun at other’s expense, B. the parent’s have a right to an atmosphere that pleases them, and C. people living in community need to compromise to accommodate the needs of others.

(By the way, if some of your “deals” involve them paying you money and your kid has no money, you can do an audit of their possessions — bike, stereo, X-box — and offer to take them as collateral.)

CASE 3. “Billy,” the high schooler gets a ride from his mom to soccer practice every afternoon, but he’s developed this habit of griping, complaining, whining, and “trash-talking” all the way there to the extent that it’s starting to deplete Mom’s energy and making her very angry. When asked, Mom told me that she pays for the soccer tuition, his uniforms, shoes, league expenses and the gas and time it takes to cart him back and forth to practices and games. I suggested that she use their parental prerogative and give “Billy” some choices–always choices parents can live with. I suggested the next time they were in the car and “Billy” started grumbling, Mom should pull the car over and say, “Billy, Get out!” Billy will be shocked of course and think she’s joking, and then she should say, “Billy, I’m done carting you around while you fill the air in the car with verbal air pollution. I’ve decided that air pollution in my car is no longer acceptable–it’s not healthy for me emotionally. Therefore, from this moment on I’m happy to give you a ride to practice as long as you can be pleasant, but the second you start to grumble, I’m pulling over and you’re getting out. Your options then will be to walk, or find your own rides there. I’m sure you’ll figure out what will work best for you.”

What “Billy” learns from this is A. Moms are real people with needs too, B. it’s unreasonable to be obnoxious to someone who is giving you free transportation (gas, insurance, accessibility) and C. special privileges come with responsibilities–no entitlement mindset is allowed.

One final note: make “positive deals” not “negative threats” otherwise you risk becoming a tyrant. Always word your “deals” in words of love and high expectation.

Let me know other parenting situations you might like me to apply Love and Logic to.

And many of you may want to check out the books in the church library.

Thanks!

Fighting the A-Shop with Pizza.

Most every Saturday night for the past year and a half, members of our youth group have been faithfully praying with me in cars on the street outside the Adult Shop North. We usually have as many as 6-8, but it’s been as high as 17.

All along, we’ve been concerned that we not be perceived by the employees and customers as haters or judmental. So we’ve periodically sent pizzas and cards in to the desk. Last week, we got a big surprise: they sent us a pizza back! We were shocked and honored to be so received.

Pizza power!

Since then, we’ve become more determined than ever to attempt to reach out to them in love. Two of our seniors (with parental permission) and I have introduced ourselves to the desk clerk, thanking him for the pizza. We also have requested to meet with the owner at Java Creek to create some understanding. So far he hasn’t taken us up on our offer, but we know that making the attempt is the right approach. (BTW, We don’t actually enter the A-shop, we just go up to the “show your id” window.)

To show the spirit with which we’re approaching this ministry, I wanted to show you a letter recently written by a college freshman from our group that is being delivered to the desk workers this Saturday. Please join us in prayer for breakthroughs into the hearts of these hurting people who need Jesus so desparately.

Dear Adult Shop owner and employees,

I’ve had the privilege of spending one of my many Saturday nights praying for you all. Thank you so much for your very kind gesture in sending us pizza. We were all very grateful and excited to receive such a gift in return. While we are all very thankful for the kindness you have shown us, that is not the only reason I am writing you this letter. I am afraid you might think false things of us. I just want you to know the truth about what and why we pray for you.

As I was sitting in the car looking at your shop one Saturday night, I realized you might have some preconceived notions about us. You probably wonder what we talk about and pray each Saturday evening.

You might even think that we judge or condemn you, but that is far from the truth. We never pray for you out of pity or vain conceit, but out of love. We believe that God loves everyone and as followers of Him we are called to love and serve Him first and foremost and secondly others. First off, the reason we are at your shop every Saturday is because we want to love you and show you the same love that Christ showed to us. I apologize because we don’t always know how to do this best. Second, when we come to your store we pray and give thanks. We thank the Lord for everything he has given us- friends, family, and salvation. We thank him for making each and every one of you, because you are special and important to Him. We pray that He would reveal himself to you and that he would lead you in truth and love into a deeper relationship with Himself. Our prayers are not just limited to you guys. We often pray for each other, our families, our friends, and our world leaders.

The whole reason I wanted to write you this was because there was a time in my life when I thought that Christians were goody-goodies holier than thou perfect people who were too stuck up to really even care about someone beside themselves. On top of that, I thought the God they worshiped wasn’t real and was all in their head. I got this idea, because it felt like every time I turned around a Christian would be preaching to me on knowing God and living a life to glorify Him and then they would turn around and abuse their wife and children or lived a life exactly opposite of what they preached. If that was the kind of life they wanted me to live, than I wanted to have nothing to do with it. However, I knew not all Christians are like that. I pray that you would not think of us like this. We know we have faults and we struggle with the same things you do- broken families, financial problems, health problems, etc. As your friends, we would love to help you out in anyway we can. I offer to you a free invitation to come talk to us anytime. If you have any questions, we’d love to try and answer them. Or, if you just want to talk I know that we would all love to meet each and every single one of you. In the midst of my prayers for you all, I come to a point where I just start to dream and imagine. I wonder how life has treated you all and what kind of lives you live. I wonder what your families are like and most of all, what it would be like to meet you. I wonder how we could serve you or love you better, but most of all I just dream about meeting you and talking to you all. I know I can say this for everyone of the people who pray for you, that if you ever have any free time on a Saturday evening, we really would love to talk to you.

Sincerely,

(she wanted to be anonymous in this post)

The Power of Christian love to conquer evil

Below is an email report I wrote back in 1999 that speaks of the power of loving our enemies. This report travelled around the world. I received replies from most US states and dozens of countries around the world.

I ‘m posting this now because a current “love” project is underway by members of our youth group (which I will write about soon) but I first wanted to remind us of this significant incident. Mark

Warning: it’s lengthy, but worth reading when you have the time.

Marilyn Manson

Dear Fellow Followers of Christ,

This is the official praise report regarding the Marilyn Manson concert on April 28th, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa–the final concert of his current tour. Something so amazing happened here, that I’m compelled to share it with you.

The recent Littleton tragedy [8 days earlier] has rightfully caused grief, fear, and anxiety in all of our hearts. We mourn the losses and share the anger. But we must be careful not to let anger consume us or control us. The fact that Manson’s music was associated with the killers made the climate here ripe for a potentially anger-driven reaction. And in fact, a local protest movement had begun to picket, protest, and petition in opposition to the concert. The police, the media, and the community began to prepare for angry protests and ugly brawling between Christians and Marilyn Manson supporters. The outlook was grim. But unbeknownst to most of us, a small band of faithful believers had been fervently praying for four weeks that God would be glorified through the Manson concert. God was about to answer their prayers.

Suddenly, something totally unexpected happened. Emerging thru the vehicle of e-mail, another movement suddenly sprang to life–that the only way to truly change our moral climate is to soften hard hearts. (The heart of Manson and his fans have been hardened by their perception that Christians are mean-spirited, hateful, and judgmental.) Thus, the idea was birthed to unravel that stereotype by encouraging Christians to show the pure LOVE of Christ to these fans in tangible ways. This new approach apparently struck a chord with many, because the e-mails got forwarded to hundreds of people, all over the city and across the country. Scores of people from nearby and as far away as Washington and Texas began e-mailing back, affirming this loving approach and pledging their prayer support. Creative ideas began formulating in churches and youth groups across the city. And everyone wondered what was about to happen.

Concert day finally arrived, and tension filled the community. Some fans had actually expressed being fearful of going downtown because of what the Christian freaks might do to hurt or harass them. The media geared up for an ugly battle between Manson fans and the Christian opposition. Instead, here’s what they saw–as reported by the Cedar Rapids Gazette the next day: “While the Five Seasons Center hired extra security outside in anticipation of demonstrators, NO ONE held signs opposing the concert.” Do you see how unbelievable this is, in light of Littleton’s shooting, just a week before! Compare that to the media’s account of the previous night’s concert, where “hundreds of demonstrators rallied outside a Manson concert…protesting possible links between his dark music and the Colorado school killings.” (AP News)

What they observed here was an amazing testament to the power of and love of Christ! Scores of Christians from churches all over Linn County and as far away as Des Moines (2 hours away) converged on the sidewalks outside the Five Seasons Center, to do two POSITIVE things: pray, and to show unmistakable love. It was a sight to behold. As for PRAYER, here’s what was reported to me:
~ Over 40 people met at the Father’s House, a downtown church for intercessory prayer and worship – people from over a dozen churches were represented.
~ Groups conducted “prayer walks” around the Five Seasons Center.
~ People prayed in huddles on the sidewalk.
~ Churches around the city held special prayer meetings.
~ Youth groups met for special times of prayer.
~ People all over the US were praying. I heard personally from people in Washington, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Michigan, and across Iowa.
~ One young man, and former Manson fan, felt so convicted about Cedar Rapids’ need for spiritual protection, that he flew from California just to be present to pray.
~ As many as 20 pastors and Christian leaders actually went into the concert arena to pray specifically during the concert for God’s protection from destructive messages and for the salvation of those trapped by the darkness. They mostly prayed in pairs around the stadium–and at one point many of them came together in a visible display of united, concerted prayer.

Pizza power!

As for showing LOVE to the fans, here’s what was reported to me:
~ One church purchased 100 pizzas, which were freely given away to the fans in line and bystanders.
~ A high school freshman, Jackie, called businesses for donations and got 10 more pizzas from Pizza Hut.
~ Over 50 cases (that’s 1,200 cans) of pop were purchased or donated and distributed.
~ Cookies were given out.
~ A case of candy bars was distributed.
~ Someone made homemade turkey and cheese sandwiches and gave away.
~ Boxed fruit drinks were purchased and handed out.
~ The food was given out with no strings attached in the name of Christ. The media, the fans, the Five Seasons staff, the police and even Manson’s crew took notice. One pastor, Glenn Kazan, was interviewed by the Gazette and said, “We want the kids here to know not all Christians are judgmental or hate-mongers. Our desire is…to reach out to them with the love of Christ and to let them know we care about them.”
~ One pastor asked Manson fans who passed by how he could pray for them–about 20 shared specific things and were prayed for on the spot.
~ One girl engaged fans in positive conversation. “Hey I like that eyeshadow–where did you get it?” Or–to a guy–“Where did you get that lovely dress?” As she loved them unconditionally, their demeanor changed and you could see their hearts softening.
~ After the concert, about $200 in cash (collected mostly by the NCBC youth group) was given out to pay for parking in the parking ramp. The Christians involved said, “We’re Christians and we’d like to show you God’s love by paying for your parking tonight.” With one exception, every carload gratefully accepted it. What a final impression of the night! The immediate results of this love in action were phenomenal:
~ People continually asked, “Why are you doing this?” and then listened to the answer.
~ Faces of fans looked surprised as they approached the area, expecting conflict, but finding love instead.
~ Motorists passing by did “double takes”, seeing tables heaped with food, instead of a picket line.
~ Many showed a “this does not compute” look as they scratched their heads in bewilderment.
~ The police had nothing but pleasant encounters with the Christians.
~ Two live radio reporters (one inside the stadium and one outside) discussed–on the air–how preferable it was to be outside with the generous Christians.
~ The parents who were dropping off their kids at the concert saw love immediately being shown their children.
~ The testimony was powerful of those unashamedly praying in public FOR the fans, not against them.
~ Many people engaged fans in positive, non-judgmental conversations.
~ A fan’s mother who had expressed being afraid of being hurt or harassed by the “Christian freaks”, left acknowledging that Christians can be friendly and kind.
~ At least 3 people prayed to trust Christ thru the loving care of the Christians.
~ At least one other fan that we know of chose not to go to the concert, ending up in church the following Sunday.
~ In school the next day, many reported being impressed with the kind treatment by the Christians.
~ After getting the pizza, one kid commented, “Wow, Marilyn Manson never gave me anything!” ~ A Marilyn Manson web-site, reporting on our Christian response admitted, “so maybe those Christians aren’t half bad!” http://www.marilyn-manson.net/news-april-1999.htm) [link has since been disabled] And this was just the tip of the iceberg.
~ One first-hand account must be shared: “Across the sidewalk from us was a brother that brought his little girls, ages probably four and three. Down the sidewalk came a really large fellow, dressed in black; his face painted white, cheek with 666, “I (heart) Satan” on his torn-t-shirt and other assorted accessories. As he came down the sidewalk, his gaze fell upon this little girl on her knees in the wagon, extending a can of pop as high as she could for this fellow to reach it. She looked at him with a complete lack of judgementalism. She just wanted to give him love through a can of pop. He stopped. He looked at her smiling father. He looked at her sister. He took the can and said, “thank you very much.” His face changed as this little girl’s acceptance affected him. He walked on toward the concert in a slower, reflective manner. Praise the Lord that He would use children to teach us how to evangelize.”

Not only did this movement of love impact fans, it also had a significant impact on the individual Christians who were involved. At the end of this letter, I will reprint some encouraging excerpts from the over 100 e-mails I received. As for the concert itself, we saw God work a miracle there as well. After only an hour, Manson abruptly ended the concert early. During his nazi/antichrist” stage set, he suddenly flew into a rage: he threw his microphone to the ground, knocked the drum set off its platform, and stormed off the stage, never to return! A Christian policeman reported that he then stormed back to his dressing room and proceeded to destroy it. Everyone in the audience looked around, puzzled by what they had just witnessed. The crowd shouted, “Manson, Manson, Manson,” but he never returned. And he never ripped up a Bible, which he reportedly does at his concerts.

What was the cause of his temper tantrum? News reports say he went into an absolute rage when he saw a large “smiley face” on a stage prop that had been placed by one of his own crew members, presumably as a joke on the last concert of the tour.

Some fans then became so angry with him cutting short the concert that a riot erupted. They formed a mob outside and tried to reach Manson, shouting obscenities. In the end the police had to use riot control tactics to bring order and 23 of them were arrested over this incident. As for other fans, those that I heard about felt the concert was a disappointment. God can use the “simple” things of the world (a smiley face) to humble the “wise”. It’s fitting that Manson was brought to a boil not by the expected militant Christian protesters, but by an innocent smiley face–symbolizing love, friendship, and acts of kindness. God does have a sense of humor. As one person e-mailed, Only God could end a Marilyn Manson concert with a smile!

Smiley Face

So to summarize the totality of Marilyn Manson’s visit to Cedar Rapids, we might say this: many fans came to the concert convinced that Christians were irritating and that Marilyn Manson was impressive and many left the concert feeling that Marilyn Manson was irritating and that Christians were impressive! Think of how much closer to the kingdom thousands of kids might be as a result of this unforeseen outreach event. We love Marilyn Manson and pray that he will find true peace for his troubled soul, which only comes thru knowing Jesus Christ. Like so many of his fans, he is searching frantically for fulfillment–but unfortunately in all the wrong places. We trust that the “free gifts” of love that we gave thru words and actions may have brought Marilyn and his fans at least a step closer to finding the one “Free Gift” that Jesus has to offer.

Marilyn Manson’s visit here brought the body of Christ together in unprecedented ways and gave us visible proof of the power of love and prayer. May other communities learn from our experience. If you have any questions or comments, or if you have additional information to report about the concert, feel free to contact me. I served as kind of a communication link as these ideas were formulating across the city.

Grateful to Christ,
Mark Forstrom, local youth pastor
[email protected]
report initially sent on May 12, 1999

Here are those encouraging quotes I received in the 100+ e-mails that were sent to me:

“Perhaps God brought Marilyn Manson to our community to concentrate a bunch of dissolutioned kids in one place so we could reach them powerfully with the love of Christ.”

“I have never been prouder to be in the body of Christ than I was this last week…. I teach psychology at [a local] college and the students who went to the concert reported they were disgusted by Marilyn Manson – Praise God!”

“It’s exciting to see what prayer, fasting, and agape’ love can do. We should all try it more often.”

“There are so many people praying for this city. I have prayed that this concert will be a
turning point. The beginning of true revival throughout the city. There are going to be so many prodigals at that concert. I pray that God will open their eyes. That their return and the interest of others will be the start of great movements of God’s Spirit to change this city. Really I believe that the outcome of this will be no small thing.”

” I see things from a totally different view now, and agree wholeheartedly that showing love, not anger and hatred, is the absolute best, and only, thing we, as Christians, should do.”

“Jesus affected people by His love, and so should we. I surely have been convicted about my attitude towards non Christians.”

“…to ACT to the positive and not to the negative….why did that never enter my mind? It is exactly what Jesus would do….He would get alone and pray and then he would love …in word and deed. He would render good for evil, yes. He would bless those who persecuted him, yes. He would openly love them right into the truth.”

” If we all leave our natural tendencies and let the Spirit conform us to the ways of the Beattitudes, which is the likeness of Christ, we would need take no other action. The world would be crowding to get into our churches.”

“What a way to show the world (and concertgoers) the love of Jesus. Not by judging, but by setting a Christian example. WWJD. Jesus ate with the sinners. He showed them love to show them that there is another way. There is a God who will love unconditionally and forgives us our transgressions. Given that love, lives are changed. I know. Mine was changed about 14 months ago.”

“I went around the 5 Seasons Center (with my van windows partially down) several…times playing “Awesome God” several more times!!! He truly is an AWESOME GOD!!!”

“One of the biggest things I saw happening was the hearts of people changing from judgment to love and to actually see with the eyes of Jesus into hearts of those He so desperately wants to reach. On a personal note I want to be more proactive than reactive when something like this comes along. The prayers of love that bathed the event, the concert goers and the performers was awesome. There was a spirit of brokenness and repentance for our opinionated ways in the past.”

“NO doubt about it – prayer works and I wonder why we don’t do more of it. The standard of accountability has been raised for those of us who profess to follow the Lord and we need to press on to the mark.”

“Unity and love in the brotherhood of Christ can destroy the work of the enemy and glorify Christ through His power!”

“The very day after the concert, I heard nothing but good things about the ‘Christians who were being nice and witnessing God’s love.’ ”

“Marilyn Manson is energized by Christians who act out in rage. If every community would
pray FOR him and treat his fans with unmistakable, irresistible love, there would remain nothing for them to stand in opposition to. But more importantly, if we, as the church will clearly communicate the love of Christ wherever we are, we’ll find that we’re transforming lives, families, communities, and our nation.”

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